Achmed's Ringtone Mission

Civil War & Drunk Proofing Season 1, Ep 5 11/19/2009 Views: 150,939

Achmed the Dead Terrorist improvises in the recording studio to put together some original ringtones. (2:15)

Tags:  Achmed, phones

Okay, before we get started,

I need to do my vocalwarm-up exercises.

So, Cache, can yougive me a "C"?

Could you humthat, please?

Sure, Achmed.

♪ C...

♪ Ah, mm...

♪ Fluffy, fluffy puppy,fluffy, fluffy puppy. ♪

♪ The little disabled boyasked for a lolli... ♪

(clearing throat)

So, it looks like hereyou've just got one ringtone.

Uh, "Silence, I keel you"?

That's the only ringtoneyou want from me?

Is that all you think I am?

Some one-trick donkey?

I'm just gonna need youto do the one, Achmed.

No. I don't have to.

Sanjaya? Sanjaya,get in here,

and we'll write somenew ringtones together.

You lost all yourmaterial, or what?

I didn't lose any material,I just don't have any.

It's just, you know,"I keel you,

I keel you, I keel you"--I'm sick of that crap.

Why don't you just yell,"Camel (bleep)"?

On the phone?!

So your phone rings,and it goes,

"Camel (bleep)"?

Okay, why not? Not bad.

Okay, Achmed, you want to gothrough this list of ringtones

that yourself and Tonycame up with?

Okey-doke, here we go.

Hey, terrorize it up,ass (bleep)!

Good, I like that.It was great.

Thanks a lot.I need Vitamin Water, please?

Tony, will you get hima water, please?

ACHMED:♪ Ah...

(clears throat)

Whatchu talkin' 'bout, infidel?

Is that a missile in your pants,or do you have a phone call?

I'm surprised you don't have iton vibrate, virgin.

That was great.

Tony, get a VitaminWater for me.

I'm waiting.

I still need you to do the"Silence, I keel you" ringtone.

Son of a bitch!

All right, fine.

Let's just get thisover with.


I keel you!

There it is.

Who do I have to (bleep)

to get a Vitamin Water?

You know, I didnone of thesefacing the east.

I hope thatdoesn't matter.

Okay, whatever.(snorts)

(pipe organ playing)

ACHMED'S VOICE:Who do I have to (bleep)to get a Vitamin Water?

Who do I have to (bleep)to get a Vitamin Water?

Who do I...