Brooks Wheelan - Rarest STD on the Planet Pt. 1

Stunt Audition Season 1, Ep 6 12/06/2013 Views: 12,353

A night of drinking leaves Brooks Wheelan with a horrifying mystery. (1:54)

LET'S HAVE FUN.

ALCOHOL IS NOTA NEW PROBLEM FOR ME.

WHEN I WAS 20 YEARS OLD,I BLACKED OUT DRINKING

AND PASSED OUTIN MY OWN BED.

MY ROOMMATESBROKE INTO MY ROOM

AND SHOVED A STICK OF BUTTERDOWN MY PANTS.

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WASA THING PEOPLE DID.

AND DURING THE NIGHT,IT MELTED AND CONGEALED.

[audience ohs]

WHEN YOU WAKE UPIN THE MORNING

WITH NO RECOLLECTIONOF THE NIGHT BEFORE,

AND YOU SEETHAT CRIME SCENE,

YOU DON'T THINK,OH, MY GOSH, IS THIS BUTTER?

THE THOUGHT IS...NO!

WE ARE DONE DRINKING FOREVER,BROOKS.

WHAT'D YOU SLEEP WITH?YOU DON'T KNOW!

SO I DID WHAT ANY OF USWOULD DO UPON FINDING THAT.

I TOLD NO ONE ABOUT IT.

BUT SINCE I DIDN'TTELL ANYBODY ABOUT IT,

MY ROOMMATES WERE DRUNKWHEN THEY DID IT TO ME,

SO THEY FORGOTTO BRING IT UP TOO.

SO I SPENT THE NEXT EIGHT MONTHSOF MY LIFE

CONVINCED THAT I HADTHE RAREST STD ON THE PLANET.

POSITIVE.

ALSO, I LEARNED THAT DAYTHAT YOU CAN TURN

A STAND UP-ONLY SHOWERINTO A SIT-DOWN SHOWER

IF YOU'RE SAD ENOUGH.

AND THAT'S THE WAY YOU CAN HUGYOUR WHOLE BODY TOO, YOU KNOW?

YOU CAN REALLY JUST GET IN THEREAND BE LIKE,

"YOU'RE NOT THAT BADOF A GUY.

YOUR MOM LOVES YOU,DUDE."