Bo Burnham - Bo Raps

  • Season 13 , Ep 22
  • 01/11/2009
  • Views: 127,785

Bo busts more nuts than a pistachio junkie. (3:16)

SO, DO YOU GUYSLIKE MY SHIRT?

[ SCATTERED CHEERS ]

BACK HOME, THEY USED TO CALL METHE TIE-DYED-SHIRT KID.

WELL, THAT AND [BLEEP]

SO, ON THAT NOTE,I'M GONNA RAP...

UM...

OKAY.YOU GUYS ARE GONNA LOVE THIS.

UM...

♪ WALKIN' MY POODLES, MAN,IT NEVER GETS OLD ♪

♪ WITH MY DOGS ON MY LEASH,I GOT BITCHES ON THE HOLD ♪

♪ THE FIRST AIDS KIT,THAT'S A RHESUS MONKEY ♪

♪ I BUST MORE NUTSTHAN A PISTACHIO JUNKIE ♪

♪ I GET MORE ASSTHAN A GIANT DONKEY STABLE ♪

♪ I GOT MORE LINES THANWHITNEY HOUSTON'S COFFEE TABLE ♪

[ LAUGHTER ]

♪ I GET MORE [BLEEP]THAN GRAMMAR-SCHOOL LICE ♪

♪ I'M LIKE A WALKING GLACIER,I'M SO DECKED OUT WITH ICE ♪

♪ HEY, JESUS LOVES YOUAS LONG AS YOU'RE WHITE ♪

♪ DID YOU POOP A VIRGIN?'CAUSE THAT [BLEEP] IS TIGHT ♪

[ LAUGHTER ]

YO!

♪ I'M BLOWIN' UPLIKE I THOUGHT I WOULD ♪

♪ I'M CIRCUMCISED 'CAUSEI DON'T [BLEEP] FROM THE HOOD ♪

IT'S, UH...

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

♪ MY NAME IS BO, FO' SHO'

♪ A BORN BOSTONIANARYAN LIBRARIAN ♪

♪ AT THE WORD SMITHSONIAN

♪ THE RAP IS SCATTERED,IT HAS ITS INGENUITY ♪

♪ I GAVE IT THIS LITTLE PARTTO GIVE IT CONTINUITY ♪

♪ LADIES...

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

YO!

♪ AND THE FELLAS SAY,"HEY, MORON, PASS THE GIN" ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'M AN OXYMORON,BREATHING OXYGEN ♪

♪ GIVE ME THE BOTTLE,I'LL CHUG TWO-THIRDS ♪

♪ 'CAUSE YOU BITCHES KNOW

♪ FRACTIONSSPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS ♪

OH, MY GOD.

♪ AND THE LADIES SAY, "HEY,FELLAS, I'M KEEPIN' IT TIGHT" ♪

♪ AND IF YOU PLAY YOUR CARDSRIGHT, YOU CAN HAVE ME TONIGHT ♪

♪ SHOULD I [BLEEP] YOUOR [BLEEP] YOU? ♪

♪ BRASS OR PERCUSSION?

♪ OH, STOP, PERIOD,END OF DISCUSSION ♪

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

YO!

LET'S WORK THIS SHIP.

♪ OH, YO,MY NAME IS BO, FO' SHO' ♪

♪ A BORN BOSTONIANARYAN LIBRARIAN ♪

♪ AT THE WORD SMITHSONIAN

♪ THE RAP IS SCATTERED,IT HAS ITS INGENUITY ♪

♪ I GAVE IT THIS LITTLE PARTTO GIVE IT CONTINUITY ♪

♪ WALKIN' THROUGH THE GARDEN,FOOD AT MY FEET ♪

♪ PICKED UP THE CELERYBUT DROPPED THE BEET ♪[beat]

[ LAUGHTER ]

♪ YO, WE'RE IN THE HOOD,I'LL TAKE WHAT YOU GIVE ME ♪

♪ WAS EINSTEIN'S THEORY GOOD?RELATIVELY ♪

[king dumb]♪ A SMART QUEEN'S "KINGDOM,"IT DOESN'T MIX ♪

♪ A LITTER OF LITERATES,A BUNCH OF MOBY DICKS ♪

♪ GET THEE TO A PUNNERY,OH, JUST TO "FEEL YA" ♪[Ophelia]

♪ I'LL TAKE YOU WITH A CONDOM,STAINLESS STEEL YA ♪

♪ HALF A POUND OF TURKEY BREAST,HALF A POUND OF CHICKEN TITS ♪

♪ WHY ARE ONLY CRACKERSSTAYING AT THE RITZ? ♪

♪ POVERTY, RACISM,ISN'T IT STRANGE? ♪

♪ ONLY THE HOMELESSARE BEGGING FOR CHANGE ♪

♪ A SHOCKED SHERLOCK,WATSON ♪

♪ ROSA PARKSDIDN'T CALL SHOTGUN ♪

[ LAUGHTER ]

♪ WELL, HERE'S A BIT OF IRONY

♪ A FORD FOCUS DRIVER'SGOT A.D.D. ♪

♪ HOW'D I COMETO MASTER ALL THESE THINGS? ♪

♪ LIKE A TAMPON THIEF,I HAD TO PULL SOME STRINGS ♪

THANK YOU.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

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