SO, DO YOU GUYSLIKE MY SHIRT?
[ SCATTERED CHEERS ]
BACK HOME, THEY USED TO CALL METHE TIE-DYED-SHIRT KID.
WELL, THAT AND [BLEEP]
SO, ON THAT NOTE,I'M GONNA RAP...
UM...
OKAY.YOU GUYS ARE GONNA LOVE THIS.
UM...
♪ WALKIN' MY POODLES, MAN,IT NEVER GETS OLD ♪
♪ WITH MY DOGS ON MY LEASH,I GOT BITCHES ON THE HOLD ♪
♪ THE FIRST AIDS KIT,THAT'S A RHESUS MONKEY ♪
♪ I BUST MORE NUTSTHAN A PISTACHIO JUNKIE ♪
♪ I GET MORE ASSTHAN A GIANT DONKEY STABLE ♪
♪ I GOT MORE LINES THANWHITNEY HOUSTON'S COFFEE TABLE ♪
[ LAUGHTER ]
♪ I GET MORE [BLEEP]THAN GRAMMAR-SCHOOL LICE ♪
♪ I'M LIKE A WALKING GLACIER,I'M SO DECKED OUT WITH ICE ♪
♪ HEY, JESUS LOVES YOUAS LONG AS YOU'RE WHITE ♪
♪ DID YOU POOP A VIRGIN?'CAUSE THAT [BLEEP] IS TIGHT ♪
[ LAUGHTER ]
YO!
♪ I'M BLOWIN' UPLIKE I THOUGHT I WOULD ♪
♪ I'M CIRCUMCISED 'CAUSEI DON'T [BLEEP] FROM THE HOOD ♪
IT'S, UH...
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪ MY NAME IS BO, FO' SHO'
♪ A BORN BOSTONIANARYAN LIBRARIAN ♪
♪ AT THE WORD SMITHSONIAN
♪ THE RAP IS SCATTERED,IT HAS ITS INGENUITY ♪
♪ I GAVE IT THIS LITTLE PARTTO GIVE IT CONTINUITY ♪
♪ LADIES...
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
YO!
♪ AND THE FELLAS SAY,"HEY, MORON, PASS THE GIN" ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I'M AN OXYMORON,BREATHING OXYGEN ♪
♪ GIVE ME THE BOTTLE,I'LL CHUG TWO-THIRDS ♪
♪ 'CAUSE YOU BITCHES KNOW
♪ FRACTIONSSPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS ♪
OH, MY GOD.
♪ AND THE LADIES SAY, "HEY,FELLAS, I'M KEEPIN' IT TIGHT" ♪
♪ AND IF YOU PLAY YOUR CARDSRIGHT, YOU CAN HAVE ME TONIGHT ♪
♪ SHOULD I [BLEEP] YOUOR [BLEEP] YOU? ♪
♪ BRASS OR PERCUSSION?
♪ OH, STOP, PERIOD,END OF DISCUSSION ♪
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
YO!
LET'S WORK THIS SHIP.
♪ OH, YO,MY NAME IS BO, FO' SHO' ♪
♪ A BORN BOSTONIANARYAN LIBRARIAN ♪
♪ AT THE WORD SMITHSONIAN
♪ THE RAP IS SCATTERED,IT HAS ITS INGENUITY ♪
♪ I GAVE IT THIS LITTLE PARTTO GIVE IT CONTINUITY ♪
♪ WALKIN' THROUGH THE GARDEN,FOOD AT MY FEET ♪
♪ PICKED UP THE CELERYBUT DROPPED THE BEET ♪[beat]
[ LAUGHTER ]
♪ YO, WE'RE IN THE HOOD,I'LL TAKE WHAT YOU GIVE ME ♪
♪ WAS EINSTEIN'S THEORY GOOD?RELATIVELY ♪
[king dumb]♪ A SMART QUEEN'S "KINGDOM,"IT DOESN'T MIX ♪
♪ A LITTER OF LITERATES,A BUNCH OF MOBY DICKS ♪
♪ GET THEE TO A PUNNERY,OH, JUST TO "FEEL YA" ♪[Ophelia]
♪ I'LL TAKE YOU WITH A CONDOM,STAINLESS STEEL YA ♪
♪ HALF A POUND OF TURKEY BREAST,HALF A POUND OF CHICKEN TITS ♪
♪ WHY ARE ONLY CRACKERSSTAYING AT THE RITZ? ♪
♪ POVERTY, RACISM,ISN'T IT STRANGE? ♪
♪ ONLY THE HOMELESSARE BEGGING FOR CHANGE ♪
♪ A SHOCKED SHERLOCK,WATSON ♪
♪ ROSA PARKSDIDN'T CALL SHOTGUN ♪
[ LAUGHTER ]
♪ WELL, HERE'S A BIT OF IRONY
♪ A FORD FOCUS DRIVER'SGOT A.D.D. ♪
♪ HOW'D I COMETO MASTER ALL THESE THINGS? ♪
♪ LIKE A TAMPON THIEF,I HAD TO PULL SOME STRINGS ♪
THANK YOU.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]