Rachel Feinstein - The Friend Who Sexts for You

Amy Schumer Presents Rachel Feinstein: Only Whores Wear Purple Season 1, Ep 1 04/23/2016 Views: 3,479

When Rachel Feinstein found herself in an awkward situation after sexting the wrong man, her best friend Amy Schumer stepped up to help her out. (2:30)

Watch Full Episode

It's so good to be here.

Um, thank you, Amy.

Here's whata great friend Amy is.

I, um, I recently sent

a dirty picture of myselfto the wrong person, um...

It's because the guy I'm withhas the same first name

as the guy I accidentallysent the picture to.

And I get lazy, 'cause, like,I try to take pictures

when I go away, you know,just so that he has something

to beat to untilI get back home again.

But I just start doling 'em outwithout checking them first.

So I sent itto the wrong guy

and I don't even know himvery well and he's married

and he has kids--it was horrifying.

It was the most humiliatingmoment of my life.

And it-- yeah,it wasn't even a good one.

Like, if it was a hot one,I'd be embarrassed,

but maybe secretly,like, a little proud.

You know, like, okay.

But it was, like, jacked up,not in a good way.

The underwearwas just real slovenly.

It was, like, the last cleanpair I had, clearly.

And there was somedebris by my foot

that I noticedafter I sent it.

There were some coinslying there and...

and a receipt

and a knotted-up USB cord.

It was disgusting.

And the guy I sent it to,

I don't even know himvery well.

I was, like, horrified.

And I told Amy.

I called her up and I'm like,

"You're not gonna believewho I just sent this

disgusting pictureof my crotch to."

And I'm like, "There's muffinby my foot and a receipt."

And she's like,"What did you buy?"

I'm like,"That's the question?"

And then she goes,

"Well, if it makes youfeel any better,

I'll send him one, too."

And I was like,"Thank you so much."

I'm like, "But itcan't be a hot one.

"You understand that, right?

"Like... like, yourscannot be the example

"of what a hot woman sends

and then I send thisgangrenous, jacked-up one."

She's like, "I promise,

it'll be (bleep) up,not in a good way."

So she just sent hima picture of her crotch

in these sort of olive greenbaggy sweatpants.

And there was just one hand

sort of gently restingnear her "vadge" area.

Just one stationary hand,

catty-corner to her vadge.

And then there wasa long, thin mustard stain

down the right leg.

It was one ofthe most beautiful things

anyone's ever done for me.