-The only thing, the only thingI really want in life, I just
wanted-- like mygrandfather is my idol.
OK, this dude is 78 years old.
And two things yougot to know about him.
78-- one, he don't, he don'tgive a damn about anything, OK.
He does whatever he wants to.
And two, he hasAlzheimer's, so he
don't have to remember the shit.
Oh, my grandpa, youcan't put the glasses
there when you finished with it.
Yes, you did.
I don't remember it.
OK, I get to, uh, I getto Chicago recently.
I'm hanging outwith my grandfather.
And my cousin Gary comes a pickme up from the airport, OK.
Gary says, you now, grandpais in this weird phase,
where he wants to try on allhis old clothes from the '70s
and show them off.
I go, well, what does he do?
And he goes, don'tworry about it.
Right, so we get to the house.
He drops me off.I'm like, you coming in?
He goes, no, no.
I've seen that shit.
So I go hang outwith my grandfather
for like two or three hours.Like we're just hanging out.
He's showing me picturesand telling me stories.
And he goes, hey, Tone, whydon't you go into the kitchen
and make some lunch?
I got lunch meat, bread,and juice or whatever.
I'm like, yeah, no problem, OK.
So I go in the kitchen.
And while I'm in the kitchen,my grandfather yells at me.
Hey, Tone, whenyou get a second,
come, uh, come checkout this jacket.
I don't think you'veever seen this jacket.
This a cool-ass jacket.
You going to love it.
I was like, all right, grandpa.I'll be in a second.
Let me grab thesandwiches and this juice.
I'll be right in therein a minute, right?
So I grabbed the sandwiches,grabbed the juice.
Go back in mygrandfather's room.
My grandfather isstanding in the middle
of the room, buck-nakedwith a blazer on.
So what you think?
I was like, tha--ah, man, where are
your pants and yourunderwear at, man.
This is awkward.
What if somebodycomes in and sees?
This is not going to look right.
He goes, man, you supposedto be looking at the jacket.
I go, man, that's a cool jacket.
But if somebody sees this, thisis not going to look right.
He goes, man, I'm tryingto show you this jacket,
and you looking at my balls.
I say, I'm not.
I'm not looking at your balls.
I am now.
Why your balls so long?
You have long-ass balls.
Life long, liketether ball long, OK?
Like two eight-balls in atube sock long, like lengthy.
He get an attitude.
Man, you wish youhad balls like these.
You know long ballsrun in our family.
I'm like, first ofall, that's gross.
Second of all, howdo you know that?
I'm like, grandpa, man, do mea favor, man, put some pants
or some underwearon or something,
because I'd hate foryou to be walking
around the house and trip.
The last thing I need--my grandfather walking
around the house, balls wrappedaround his ankles, he trip,
hit his head on a coffee table.
And now he's passed out, right?
I got to call thepolice and the ambulance
and explain this shit.
They get to hospital,like oh, my god,
why is your grandfather layingthere buck-naked with a blazer
Are these his balls?
What the hell amI supposed to say?
Man, you supposed to belooking at the jacket.