Rory Albanese - Kids with ADD

  • Season 14, Ep 13
  • 01/11/2010
  • Views: 23,344

If children can't focus, it may be a disorder or the fact that they're seven years old. (2:46)

I LOVE THIS COUNTRY.

I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT.

I LOVE THAT WHEN I GOTO THE MIDWEST,

EVERYTHING THERE IS SOAKED INBUTTER AND CHEESE -- EVERYTHING.

YOU GO TO A RESTAURANT,NOT EVEN AN OPTION.

THEY'RE JUST LIKE,

"WHAT KIND OF CHEESEDO YOU WANT ON THAT, SIR?"

AND I'M LIKE,"WELL, SINCE IT'S CHINESE FOOD,

I'M GONNA GO WITH NONE."

[ LAUGHTER ]

"BUT I LIKEWHERE YOUR BRAIN WENT, PAL.

"I LIKE THE FACT THATYOU THOUGHT A BRICK OF CHEDDAR

"COULD INCREASETHE DELICIOUSNESS

"OF MY GENERAL TSO'S CHICKEN.

THAT IS -- THAT IS A GOOD THINGTO BE THINKING."

IT'S COOL.

I LIKE --I LOVE THAT IN THIS COUNTRY --

THIS IS THE FASCINATING PARTOF OUR CULTURE --

CHILDRENWHO CAN'T PAY ATTENTION --

FOLLOW THIS SENTENCE --CHILDREN WHO CAN'T PAY ATTENTION

ARE CONSIDERED, UM,TO HAVE A DISORDER.

CHILDRENWHO CAN'T PAY ATTENTION.

"I DON'T KNOW.HE JUST WON'T FOCUS."

"HE COULD BE 7.

"THAT COULD BE --COULD BE THE ISSUE.

"YOU'RE -- YOU'RE SUPPOSEDTO LICK TREES WHEN YOU'RE 7.

I DON'T KNOW."

[ LAUGHTER ]

IT'S REALLY THE ONLY TIMEIT'S REMOTELY APPROPRIATE,

ACTUALLY, TO LICK A TREE.

FOUND THAT OUT THE HARD WAY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

A.D.D. IS A CAUSEI WANT TO CHAMPION, OKAY?

[ LAUGHTER ]

IT'S A CAUSE I WANT TO CHAMPION.

SO HERE'S WHAT I DID.

THIS PAST SUMMER, I DECIDED,"I'M GONNA HELP THESE KIDS.

"I'M GONNA GET OUT THERE.

I'M GONNA GET MY HANDS --I'M GONNA HELP THESE KIDS."

I BOUGHT A BUNCH OF LANDIN UPSTATE NEW YORK, OKAY,

AND I BUILT A BUNCH OF CABINSAND BUNKS AND THINGS ON IT.

FIGURED I'M GONNA START A SUMMERPROGRAM FOR KIDS WITH A.D.D.

I DON'T KNOW.NO ONE SHOWED UP.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID WRONG.

I WAS CALLING ITCONCENTRATION CAMP.

I DON'T...

[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]

I'M NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENED.

I DON'T KNOW.

I MIGHT -- I MIGHT HAVE TO GIVE

DONNIE DEUTSCH A CALLABOUT THAT,

SEE IF THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG.

I, UH...

I REALLY DON'T -- I KNOWTHAT THE ECONOMY'S IN TROUBLE.

I KNOW THAT.

AND I KNOW THATBECAUSE PEOPLE TELL ME

AND THE NEWSKEEPS TALKING ABOUT IT.

SO THAT'S ALL I KNOW.

I CAN'T -- LIKE, IN FACT,I USE IT AS SMALL TALK.

INSTEAD OF SAYING,"HOW'S THE WEATHER?"

I'LL JUST GO UPTO, LIKE, AN ELEVATOR,

YOU KNOW, AND THERE'S SOMEBODYSTANDING THERE,

AND I'LL DO ONE OF THESE,

"HEY, MAN, THE ECONOMY, HUH?

[ WHISTLES ]THAT'S -- THAT'S CRAZY."

AND THEN I JUST PRAY TO GOD IT'SNOT LIKE 1 IN 5 BILLION PERSON

THAT CAN, LIKE,ACTUALLY RESPOND TO THAT.

HE'S LIKE, "ACTUALLY, IF YOUSHORT-SELL YOUR PORTFOLIO,"

AND I'M LIKE, "OH, CRAP.

NOW I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS."

SO THEN I ALWAYS HAVETO AWKWARDLY GET OUT OF IT.

LIKE, I'LL JUST LOOK AT HIMAND BE LIKE, "I LIKE PENGUINS."

AND I JUST RUN AWAY,LIKE, "I'LL TAKE THE STAIRS!"

[ LAUGHTER ]

Loading...