-Being from Wisconsin, becauseI like to drink quite a bit.
My biggest problem with alcoholis I sometimes have a hard time
telling the differencebetween when I'm drunk
and when I'm wasted.
I kind of gotta lookfor clues a little bit.
Like when I'm drunk and ridinga bike, I might fall over.
And when I'm wasted,I'll still be peddling.
A couple years ago,some friends of mine
they were trying to get meto slow down on the drinking,
and one of their ideas was tovideotape me during a blackout
and then show it to mewhen I was sober so I could
see what I wasreally acting like.
I watched the tape, I wasjust like, oh, my God.
I mean, I knew I was funny,but that's hilarious.
Giving myself awedgie, would have
never through of that one sober.
How am I gonna top that?
Oh, dry humpingthe police officer.
I drink by myself sometimes.
That's a little sad.
Also makes the nextday a little awkward.
I wake up and I'm like, Shane,what happened last night?
Dude, I don't know.
Somebody crapped in the sink.
Oh, poo joke.
I tend to get a lot ofdrunken injuries too.
Dude, once I was hammeredjust out of my mind.
Actually, I popped a zit thatturned out to be my nipple.
Don't do that.
© 2017 Comedy Partners. All Rights Reserved. Comedy Central and all related titles, logos and characters are trademarks of comedy partners.