Shane Mauss - Drunk or Wasted

South Beach Comedy Festival 2009 Season 1, Ep 3 02/11/2009 Views: 2,791

Shane sometimes has a hard time telling the difference between when he's drunk and when he's wasted. (1:25)

-Being from Wisconsin, becauseI like to drink quite a bit.

My biggest problem with alcoholis I sometimes have a hard time

telling the differencebetween when I'm drunk

and when I'm wasted.

I kind of gotta lookfor clues a little bit.

Like when I'm drunk and ridinga bike, I might fall over.

And when I'm wasted,I'll still be peddling.

A couple years ago,some friends of mine

they were trying to get meto slow down on the drinking,

and one of their ideas was tovideotape me during a blackout

and then show it to mewhen I was sober so I could

see what I wasreally acting like.

I watched the tape, I wasjust like, oh, my God.

I mean, I knew I was funny,but that's hilarious.

Giving myself awedgie, would have

never through of that one sober.

How am I gonna top that?

Oh, dry humpingthe police officer.

Of course.

I drink by myself sometimes.

That's a little sad.

Also makes the nextday a little awkward.

I wake up and I'm like, Shane,what happened last night?

Dude, I don't know.

Somebody crapped in the sink.

Oh, poo joke.

I tend to get a lot ofdrunken injuries too.

Dude, once I was hammeredjust out of my mind.

Actually, I popped a zit thatturned out to be my nipple.

Don't do that.