Uncensored - Carlos Mencia - The Real Jamaica

Carlos Mencia: New Territory Season 1, Ep 1 12/04/2011 Views: 11,930

Americans make the mistake of thinking that every place they travel to is going to be as amazing as the U.S. (2:04)

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are gonna hate us

no matter what we do.

You want meto tell you why?

Because they thinkwe're arrogant.

And you know whythey think we're arrogant?

Because we're Americans,and our lives are so amazing

that when we goto other countries,

we think they live like us.

So we ask them for thingsthat we think are normal,

but they're not normal.

So then they get mad at us.

Like air-conditioning.

Air-conditioning is normalin America--in anywhere.

You could goto a trailer park.

These sons of bitchesgot little A/Cs--

everywhere we go.

But it ain't like thatin other countries.

And I know some of youright now are going,

"Well, I've been to Mexico,and they had air conditioners."

No, you've neverbeen to Mexico.

You went to Cancun or Mazatlanor Puerto Vallarta.

That's Little America in Mexico.That's what that is.

If you really want to goto Mexico,

the next time you go to Cabo,

get in a caband tell the Mexican driver,

"Hey, senor, take meto the real Mexico."

He'll be like,"Are you sure?

It no look like this!"

I wanted to go to Jamaica.

My friend's like, "Don't goto the regular Jamaica.

Go to the real Jamaicawhere we go."

And my stupid ass--

"I'm gonna goto the real Jamaica!"

Dumb ass.

I get there,and it's hot as balls.

And I'm not--

I'm trying really hardnot to be that American

that goes and complains,

but let me tell youwhat happened.

A bead of sweatdeveloped right here

on the top of my head,and it rolled down,

and it got bigger,and it rolled down and down,

and when it hit my asshole,I went, "That's enough.

That is enough! No!"

I went to the front desk,and I'm like--

Seriously,this is not a joke.

"I don't carehow much money it costs.

I want the roomwith an air conditioner."

The guy laughed in my face.

[imitates laughter]

[Jamaican accent] "Dis boy wantan air condition-ah!"

[exhales deeply]

"Did ya feel da breeze?"