HERE-- I'LL TELLYOU, RIGHT NOW.
IF I HAD ONE SUPER POWER,I WOULD WANT ONE THING.
I WOULDN'T NEED TO FLY,OR BE INVISIBLE,
OR HAVE SUPER STRENGTH,WHATEVER THAT IS.
I'D WANT ONE THING,
AND THAT WOULD BETO MAKE CHICKS FART.
THAT'D BE AWESOME!
[audience laughing]
RIGHT, A GIRL CAN'T ARGUEAND DO SOMETHING ELSE.
NO WAY, RIGHT?
YOU'RE HANGING ON AS--BY A THREAD, AS IT IS, RIGHT?
A DUDE COULD--A DUDE COULD FART.
A-A-A MAN-- A DUDEWOULD GO LIKE THIS.
HE'D BE LIKE,"HEY, MAN, I HATE YOU!
[imitating flatulence]
"AND ANOTHER THING...
[audience laughing]
[imitating flatulence]
"OH, YEAH--THAT REMINDS ME."
A GIRL COULDNEVER DO IT.
THIS IS HOW IT'DGO DOWN A GIRL.
SHE'D BE LIKE,"YOU KNOW WHAT?
"YOU'RE OUT LATE ALLTHE TIME, AND I JUST--
[imitating flatulence]AH!
[audience laughing]
[cheers and applause]
[sobbing]
"WHAT ARE YOUDOING TO ME?
"NO--[flatulence]
"STOP IT!
[flatulence]
"NO--STAY OVER THERE.
"DON'T COME IN THIS AREA--IT SMELLS LIKE CRAP."
[audience laughing]
THAT'D BEAWESOME, MAN!
SO, I'M SINGLE NOW.
[audience laughing]
YEAH, ALLRIGHT-- COOL.
I LIKE THAT, MAN.
I DON'T KNOW, SO,SO, I GOT A DATE,
AND THAT'S WEIRD--LIKE, DATING SUCKS, MAN.
IF YOU LIKE DATING,JUST GET OUTTA HERE, MAN.
YOU GOTTA SIT ACROSS FROMSOMEBODY YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW,
AT A RESTAURANT YOUCOULD CARE LESS ABOUT,
AND YOU STAY STUFF,ESPECIALLY AS A GUY,
YOU SAY STUFF THAT YOU WOULDNEVER SAY, EVER, IN REAL LIFE,
LIKE, "WOW!"
[audience laughing]
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIMEYOU SAID, "WOW," AS A GUY,
TO BE HONEST,FOR REAL?
GIRLS-- GIRLS HAVE THE POWER,RIGHT AWAY, YOU KNOW IT,
'CAUSE WE WANTSOMETHIN' FROM YOU.
YOU KNOWWHAT I MEAN?
LIKE, YOU SIT ONTHE POWER-- YOU SIT ON IT.
LITERALLY, YOU'RESITTING ON THE POWER.
[audience laughing]
YOU KNOW, AND YOUTAUNT US WITH IT, TOO,
'CAUSE YOU KNOW--YOU'RE JUST,
"UH-UH-UH-UH--UH-UH-UH-UH-UH.
"YOU BETTER PLAYYOUR CARDS RIGHT...
[audience laughing]
..."TO GET SOME BOOT-AY."
I FEEL LIKE THAT'SHOW IT IS IN YOUR HEAD.
LIKE, IT'S-- YOU'RE SINGINGAN R & B SONG OR SOMETHING.
JUST LIKE, "YOU BETTERPLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT, OW,
"TO GET SOME BOOT-AY."
YOUR FRIENDS AREIN THE BACKGROUND.
"YOU BETTER PLAYYOUR CARDS RIGHT, OW,
"TO GET HER BOOT-AY."
[cheers and applause]