Paul F. Tompkins - True Stabbing Story

  • Season 1 , Ep 6
  • 02/12/2010
  • Views: 11,847

Paul F. Tompkins is not saying that a guy dressing up as Freddy Krueger and stabbing another person is awesome. (3:05)

OH, BUT GUESS WHAT!

SOMETIMES THIS COSPLAYGOES A LITTLE TOO FAR...

(chuckles)

BECAUSE AT ONE POINT,

THE GUY WHO DRESSES UPAS FREDDY KRUEGER

STABBED A DUDE.

(laughter)

THIS IS A TRUE STORY.

THIS GUY DRESSED UPAS FREDDY KRUEGER

GOT IN AN ARGUMENTWITH A PASSERBY.

THE ARGUMENT GOT HEATED.

AND IT TURNS OUTTHAT THE KNIVES THE GUY HAD

ON HIS FREDDY KRUEGER GLOVEWERE REAL.

(laughter)

THE POLICE WERE QUOTEDAS SAYING,

"WELL, WE HAD SEENTHAT GENTLEMEN,

BUT WE JUST ASSUMED THATHIS KNIVES WERE PLASTIC."

THAT'S FINE FOR ME TO ASSUME

BECAUSE I'M NOT THE POLICE,BUT...

(laughter)

TELL YOU WHAT.

IF YOU HAVE BADGES ANYWHEREON YOUR CLOTHES,

JUST FOR GOOFS AND GRINS...(laughter)

WHY DON'T YOU STROLLON OVER THERE?

"OH, PARDON ME, MR. KRUEGER,

"I'M SORRY IN ADVANCE FOREMBARRASSING THE BOTH OF US,

"BUT I GUESS I HAVE TO ASKYOU THIS QUESTION.

"SERVE AND PROTECT,BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

"HERE WE GO, THOUGH I'M SUREI ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER.

"(laughs)

"ARE THOSE KNIVESON YOUR HAND REAL?

"OH, THEY ARE?

WELL, THAT'S NOT ALLOWEDAT ALL!"

(laughter)

THIS IS ISN'T DEADWOOD.

YOU CAN'T WALK AROUNDTHE STREETS

WITH A BUNCH OF KNIVES."

(laughter)

YOU'RE NOT GONNA CHECKAT ALL?

YOU'RE NOT GONNA CHECKAT ALL.

"LOOK AT THAT GUY.YEAH, PROBABLY PLASTIC.

(laughter)

"IT'S NOT EVEN WORTHROLLING DOWN THE WINDOW.

"HEY, I'M TAKINGTHE SERGEANT'S EXAM NEXT WEEK.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK?THINK I GOT A SHOT?

I LIKE MY CHANCES."

THE GUY PULLED THROUGH.

THE GUY DID NOT DIETHAT FREDDY KRUEGER STABBED.

NOW, FOLKS, I AM NOT SAYINGTHAT A GUY DRESSED UP

AS FREDDY KRUEGER STABBINGANOTHER PERSON IS AWESOME,

BUT...(laughter)

HERE'S WHAT IS AWESOMEABOUT IT.

WE HAVE ALL BEENIN A SITUATION

WHERE WE'RE INSOME GO-NOWHERE ARGUMENT

THAT JUST WILL NOT END,

AND YOU WISH YOU HADTHE PERFECT THING

TO SHUT THE OTHER PERSON UP.

(laughter)

I WANT YOU TO IMAGINEHOW SATISFIED THAT GUY FELT

BEHIND HIS RUBBERFREDDY KRUEGER MASK

WHEN HE GOT TO THE POINT,WHERE HE WAS SAYING TO HIMSELF,

"WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

"WHAT ARE WE EVEN TALKINGABOUT HERE?

I'M FREDDY KRUEGER!"

(snarls)

(laughter)OH, I BET THAT FELT GOOD.

(applause)OH, I BET THAT FELT GOOD

AS THE GUY WENT ALL THE WAYTO THE GROUND.

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