Tommy Johnagin - Being a Pallbearer

  • Season 1 , Ep 0105
  • 08/10/2006
  • Views: 6,520

Being a pallbearer's supposed to be an honor, but it's actually just heavy lifting. (1:46)

one room,not a lot to be happy about.

The only thing is if you're everin bed with a girl

and she hears a noise,you don't got to get up

in your underwearand check all the extra rooms.

She's, like,"I think I heard something."

I'm like, "Hold on,I'll check it out.

"All clear!

"Green light.

"Do you want me to make surethe door is locked?

We're safe."

I get to do some cool stuff.

I got to ride in a limousinea few weeks ago, which I love.

It's likethe funnest thing ever.

I was a pallbearer at a funeral.

Yeah, it was still a limo,seriously.

Just 'cause he's having a badday doesn't mean I should, too.

I've been a pallbearerseven times-- seven!

You know what I'm talking about.

Always the pallbearer...

( sighs )

It's supposed to be an honorto be a pallbearer-- an honor.

I've never beencarrying a casket thinking,

"This is an honor."

I'm thinking, "This is heavy.

"Are you guyseven lifting back there?

It's like deadweight on my end."

I know.

And then twice, I thought,"I wonder what would happen

if I just dropped himright now."

That'd be funny, you know?

People may not laughimmediately.

That's a time-release joke,I understand.

That takes six or seven monthsto set on your brain.

Then, one day, I'll be gettingsomething out of the fridge.

They'll be like, "Don't dropthat like you did--

"ah, ha, ha-- Uncle David.

Butterfingers."

I refuse to go to funeralswith my dad,

'cause he takes a pictureat every funeral we go to.

I don't even know who you'd showa funeral picture to.

You're, like, "Hey, did you hearabout David? He passed away."

They're like, "Oh, my God,I don't believe it."

And you're like,"Believe it now? Don't doubt me.

Don't doubt me."

( sighs )My girl-- it's April.

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