Business Failures

  • Season 1 , Ep 7
  • 04/11/2013
  • Views: 10,847

Even Nathan has had some business ideas that did not work out. (3:43)

YOU CAN'T BE AFRAIDOF FAILING.

IN FACT, ON MY SHOW,WHEN I HELP BUSINESSES,

I FAIL ALL THE TIME.

AND I'M NORMALLY SHYTO SHOW THOSE MOMENTS,

BUT TONIGHT, I'M GOING TO MAKEAN EXCEPTION.

SO LET'S TAKE A LOOK NOWAT SOME OF MY GREATEST FAILURES.

ONE OF MY LEAST POPULAR IDEAS

WAS FOR A COMPLETELYGERM-FREE HOT DOG STAND.

AT OUTDOOR FOOD CARTS,IT'S EASY FOR GERMS

TO TRANSFER FROM MONEYTO YOUR FOOD,

SO TO COMPLETELYELIMINATE THIS,

I DESIGNEDA HANDS-FREE METHOD

TO APPLY CONDIMENTSTO THE WIENER.

ALSO, THERE WOULD BEA SECOND EMPLOYEE

WHOSE ONLY JOBIS TO HANDLE THE MONEY.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOINGWITH THE WALLET?

- WE'RE DOINGA GERM-FREE EXPERIENCE,

SO YOU DON'T HANDLEYOUR OWN MONEY.

- OH, REALLY?

- BUT PEOPLE WERE A BIT ANNOYEDWITH THE MONEY HANDLING PART.

- CAN I HAVE MY WALLET BACK?

- AND THE HANDS-FREEONION DISPENSER

PROVED TO BE PROBLEMATICAS WELL.

SO YOU HAVE TO UP--ONE UP, ONE DOWN.

WHEN IT HITS THE TABLE,THE ONIONS WILL FALL.

- AND DROP IT.KEEP DROPPING IT.

UP AND DOWN, DROP IT.

- FAST.

- OOPS.

- OH.- UGH.

- THIS IS NOT GONNA WORK.IT'S NOT GONNA WORK.

- THAT'S NOTHING TO DOWITH THE CONTRAPTION.

IF YOU DROP A HOT DOG,YOU DROP A HOT DOG.

THE PUBLIC JUST WASN'T READY

FOR THE GERM-FREEHOT DOG EXPERIENCE,

SO I LAID THE CONCEPTTO REST.

NEXT, I HAD AN IDEAFOR A TEARLESS WAY

TO TELL A CHILDTHAT THEIR PET HAS DIED,

TO BE AN UP-SELL SERVICEFOR AN ANIMAL HOSPITAL.

THE CONCEPT WASTO MAKE A VIDEO

OF THE PETWHILE IT'S STILL ALIVE,

TELLING THE CHILDIT'S IN ANIMAL HEAVEN NOW.

I HIRED THE ONLY VOICE ACTORTHAT RESPONDED

TO MY CRAIGSLIST ADTO BE THE DOG.

BUT WHEN WE SHOWED ITTO THE OWNER'S CHILD...

[gentle harp music]

- [foreign accent]OH, IT'S ME, MADI.

I'M IN HEAVEN NOW.

SO SORRY I DIED.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH.

I'M HAPPY HERE,SO I'M NOT COMING HOME.

- NO, SHE DOESN'T.- NO.

- WHAT--AW.

IT'S OKAY.

- HE HATED HIS DOG'S VOICE.

ANOTHER FLUBBED IDEA.

AND LASTLY,MY FAVORITE IDEAS

DON'T JUST HELPWITH BUSINESS.

THEY'RE GOOD FOR THE COMMUNITYAS WELL.

SO I APPROACHED A BARWITH AN INNOVATIVE WAY

TO STOP DRUNKS FROM GETTINGBEHIND THE WHEEL.

THE CONCEPT WAS TO HAVEA STREET MAGICIAN

STATIONED OUTSIDE THE BAR,

PERFORMING A MAGIC TRICKTHAT ALLOWS HIM

TO SECRETLY TESTTHE BLOOD ALCOHOL LEVELS

OF PATRONS AS THEY LEAVE.

AND WITH MY BACKGROUND IN MAGIC,I OFFERED TO TEST IT OUT.

FOR MY FINAL TRICK,I'M GOING TO NEED YOUR KEYS.

- MY KEYS?- YES.

GREAT.GIVE THE WAND A BLOW.

OKAY, A LITTLE BIT HARDER,RIGHT INTO THE TOP.

OKAY, AND YOU ARE OVERTHE LEGAL LIMIT.

- OKAY.- BLOOD ALCOHOL.

SO YOUR KEYS ARE GONE.- OH!

- AND I CANNOT GIVE THEMBACK TO YOU.

- OKAY.- SORRY.

BUT THAT'S WHEN I REALIZEDTHE FLAW IN MY IDEA.

IF I HELD ON TO HIS KEYSAND HE TOOK A CAB,

THE GUY COULDN'T GETINTO HIS APARTMENT.

- COULD I GET MY KEYS,PLEASE?

- I CAN'T,BECAUSE YOU'RE DRUNK.

- PLEASE GIVE ME MY KEYS.

- AND THE ONLY SOLUTIONAT THAT POINT

WAS TO DRIVE HIM HOME.

YOU LIVE FAR.

- I KNOW I DO.

- ALSO, ONCE I GOT HIM HOME,

I REALIZED I COULDN'T JUSTGIVE HIM HIS KEYS

UNTIL HE WAS ASLEEP,OR ELSE HE MIGHT GO OUT

AND DRIVE AGAIN.

- YOU NEEDTO SEE ME SLEEPING?

- I NEED TO SEE YOU FALL ASLEEPBEFORE I LEAVE YOUR KEYS,

OR ELSE YOU MIGHT TAKE THEMAND GO OUT AGAIN.

YOU DON'T BRUSH YOUR TEETHBEFORE BED?

- USUALLY NOT.

I USUALLY BRUSH MY TEETHIN THE MORNING.

- REALLY?- YEP.

I KNOW IT'S KIND OF GROSS,

BUT NOBODY ELSEIS REALLY PAYING ATTENTION

TO THE WAY MY BREATH SMELLS.

- SO I HAD TO PUT HIM TO BEDAND MAKE SURE

HE WENT TO SLEEP...

♪ AND IF THAT LOOKING GLASSGETS BROKE ♪

♪ MAMA'S GONNA GET YOUA BILLY GOAT ♪

BEFORE I LEFT HIS KEYS.

SO, AS YOU CAN SEE,

EVEN THE GREATEST MINDSFAIL SOMETIMES.

- OHH!

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