Forgotten Johnnie Cochran Quotes

Wednesday, October 5, 2016 10/05/2016 Views: 283

Bob Saget, Rich Eisen and Greg Proops commemorate Johnnie Cochran's infamous closing statement at the O.J. Simpson trial by reciting some of his less memorable rhymes. (1:03)

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Monday marked the 21stanniversary of the acquittal

of notorious autograph thiefOrenthal Simpson,

who, as I'm sure you know,was found not guilty

of double murder,

because the jury was dazzled bya nursery rhyme about Isotoners.

Yes, on October 3, 1995,

riverboat saxophone playerJohnnie Cochran

delivered the closing statementthat decided

the trial of last century:"if it doesn't fit,

you must acquit."So, in honor of that iconic

turn of phrase,I'd like you to come up with

as many other nonsensicalrhyme-y things

that Johnnie Cochran also said,probably,

in 60 seconds, and begin.Bob.

If you feel like (bleep)take off your mitten.

Points. Rich.

If you go on a benderdon't download Tinder.

All right, points.Greg Proops.

If your car gets keyedgo smoke weed.

All right, points.Rich.

Buy a toilet with Grouponfor something to poop on.

-All right, points.-SAGET: Nice.


If you're eating an orange...Oh, (bleep) it.

'Cause nothing rhymes with that.

Points. Bobby.

When I get a little brokeI just suck (bleep) for coke.

-Aga-Again.-All... Again, yeah, again.