Welcome back to @midnight.
It is time for Political Arties.
we are now joined by,uh, President George W. Bush,
uh, who is a manof many talents--
inventing words,not getting shot by Cheney,
doing 9/11s-- but one of hismost impressive skills
is painting, you guys.Recently, Dubs announced
that he would be publishinga book of portraits,
joining countless people online
who proudly show off their art
when, you know,maybe-maybe they shouldn't.
In honor of thispresidential painting,
I'm gonna show you a portrait ofa politician from the Internet,
you answer a question about it.
First up, a page fromsexy Bernie coloring book
by Nicole Daddona.
Oh, yeah, what's he doing?He's... hanging out,
he's just making biscuitsor something.
What is... what is hunk Bernie'ssecret to getting buff?
Lifting the middle class.
All right, points.Good-good answer. Very...
Be-because the only one percenthe accepts is body fat.
-All right, poi...-Nice. -Whoa!
-Very good, very good.-Nice.
That's not safe, but very good.David Koechner.
You know how he is does it--PX90 years old.
All right, very good.Yeah, points. Clever.
He was bit bya 75-year-old radioactive man.
-All right, points. Very good.-Oh. Good. -Yeah, thank you.
Okay, you don'thave to say "buzzer."
Uh... but you can... you know,you can do whatever you want.
You're president,you can do whatever you want.
Uh, what-what do you...what do you think?
He does the Paleo diet,because that's when he was born.
All right, points.That's a good one.
Yeah, points.Points for President Bush.
Next one, a classic visionof Hillary Clinton.
So, instead of the girl withthe pearl earring, who is this?
-(bell dings)-Uh, Koechner?
Uh, the girl with the husbandthat gave the pearl necklace.
All right, all right.
Uh, President-President Bush.
Chris, I'm going to usemy life line on this one.
Well, there's no...I mean, you could,
but we're not set up to do that.
-Call my college roommate.-Okay.
David, are you there?
-We don't, uh, we don't...-David?
He's not... he's not goingto be there, I'm afraid.
Never mind, David,it's too complicated to explain.
Take care, buddy.
Uh, points to President Bush.
-Come on!-Got to give him points.
this classic paintingby Illma Gore.
Sorry, we had to put a black boxdown there, but what is, uh...
That's what the Internet callsa microaggression.
What is the title of this piece?
Trump's presidential portrait.
Oh, that would be rightin the Oval Office.
That is a shaved Billy bush.
Points. Well done.
That is a big dickwith a little dick.
All right, points.
Uh, President Bush?
I would entitle it, uh,
"The won't make a womanMona Lisa."
Hey, Chris,are we having fun or what?
We're having a good time.
We are havinga good time.
Is that by Leonardo De-pinchy?Come on, you guys.
Let's have...We're having fun up here.
-We're having fun.-That's great. That's great.
That's what we do.
You've got to come outmore often.
BUSH: It's right up my alley.
You need to get out of the housemore often.
Finally, this self portraitof W. by W.
Uh, there he is.
What is George thinkingin this picture?
Uh, with all due respect, uh,Mr. Former President,
um, I can only conjure,
if I try to think of whatyou were thinking, uh...
(as Bush): Nice try,Dick Cheney, the joke's on you.
You can't sneak up on mein the bathroom anymore.
Because I installed a mirror.
But the real magic
is the tiny suction cupsthat hold you in place.
-Yeah, point... points.-I don't...
It's somethingalong those lines.
HARDWICK: It might be the titleof the painting.
It's definitelyin the ballpark. Yeah.
-Listen, I regret my answer.-I can take it.
I didn't think you were goingto be here, Mr. President.
I can take it.I've heard a lot worse,
whatever you're going to say.
Um, you see yourselfin the mirror.
You see the water,and you think, "Wait a second.
Did I do 9/11?"
-All right.-Why it's too real.
-Yeah. All right. No.-It's too real.
You're a-you're a nasty woman.
Points. Brandon Johnson.
I know you didn't mean it.
Nah, I don't.I'm just...
Once again,we're just having fun.
HARDWICK:We're just having a good time.
No, I-I meant 9/11.You didn't mean...
I don't, I...
(bleep) just got real!
Oh, Mary Lynn,I'm sorry, I have to...
No, you seem...you seem very upset.
-They're attached to my body!-I know, I know.
Okay, okay, please.I get it.
You can't...They're not balloons.
I know, we can't...I know, it's very exciting.
-They're attached.-It's very exciting.
They're not balloonsin the sky, Chris.
No, there's no balloons hereattacking you.
-You're all fine!-These are a full "A" cup.
Guys, stop making herthink balloons
are attacking her, please.
She's very sensitive. Uh...
President Bush,what were you thinking here?
I mean, here's the simple truth.
What I was thinking was,"I'm taking a shower, man.
Get out." You know? So...
But you're the one thinking it,though.
I'm going to give you point,President Bush.
I'm going to thank you so muchfor being here tonight.
It was an honor to have youon the show.
Well, you know what?
Uh, sorry,I can't accept those points
'cause I have to leave anyway.
-What? Wait, what?-Yeah.
Uh, my-my buzzer just rangat The Cheesecake Factory,
-so my table is ready.-Oh. Oh, right.
-So, uh... -Are you goingto get the cheesecake?
-I'm going to getthe cheesecake. -(cheering)
Cheesecake. Yeah, it's good.It's good there.
All right, well,thank you, President Bush.
-It was lovely to have you here.-Thank you.