John Oliver - Unfair Trade

Season 1 , Ep 101 04/20/08 Views: 62,010

John Oliver creates a logo for unfairly traded products and introduces his outsourced joke writer. (2:10)

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WE'RE SUPPOSED TOUSE OUR POWER

TO BUY FAIR TRADE PRODUCTS.BUT AGAIN,

WHAT IS FAIR TRADEWHEN YOU BOIL IT DOWN

OTHER THAN BASICHUMAN POLITENESS?

IT SEEMS SADTHAT WE ARE REWARDING

FUNDAMENTAL DECENCYWITH ITS OWN LABEL.

I, FOR INSTANCE,HAVE NEVER KILLED ANYONE.

WHERE'S MYSPECIAL STICKER?

RATHER THAN PRAISINGFAIR TRADE,

WE NEED TO BE DEMONIZINGUNFAIR TRADE.

SO I SUGGEST THATFROM TOMORROW ONWARDS

ALL UNFAIRLY TRADEDPRODUCTS

SHOULD BE FORCEDTO CARRY THIS LOGO.

- ( laughter )- IT'S--

IT'S A CARTOON

OF AN INTERNATIONALBUSINESSMAN

URINATING UPONAN AFRICAN BOY.

NOW THAT'S--I'M NOT A GRAPHICDESIGNER,

IT'S JUSTTHE FIRST DRAFT,

BUT I THINKTHAT MIGHT REALLY HELPNAG AT YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS

WHEN YOU'RE QUEUING UPIN THE SUPERMARKET

WITH A BASKETFULOF SHATTERED LIVES.

AND YETI'M A HYPOCRITE.

HOW DARE ISTAND HERE

AND LECTURE YOUABOUT ECONOMICS?

I'M A COMEDIAN.

WE ARE THE WORSTOFFENDERS OUT THERE.

I TRY AND WRITE NEW MATERIALAS MUCH AS I CAN,

BUT UNFORTUNATELY,RECENTLY I'VE BEEN FORCED

TO OUTSOURCEMY JOKE-WRITING OPERATION

TO A LITTLE 10-YEAR-OLDINDONESIAN BOY.

THE REASON BEING,I'VE BECOME

FAR TOO EXPENSIVETO HIRE MYSELF NOW.

IT'S THE WAYTHE COMEDIC MARKETSARE GOING ACROSS AMERICA.

AND SO I'VE HEARTLESSLYHAD TO LAY MYSELF OFF

AND INSTEAD ALL MY JOKESARE WRITTEN

BY LULUK WAHIDWHO LIVES AND WORKS

IN A HUT ON JAVA.

THERE HE IS.

HE WORKS MAINLY.HE'S A REAL WORKER.

SO I THOUGHTTHIS EVENING

I'D GET LULUKTO WRITE A COUPLEOF NEW JOKES FOR YOU.

SO I BROUGHT ONE OF HISBLOOD-SPLATTERED NOTEBOOKS.

MOST OF HIS MATERIALIS OBSERVATIONAL STUFF

ABOUT WHAT IT'S LIKETO BE A LITTLE 10-YEAR-OLDINDONESIAN BOY.

IT'S QUITE A NICE ONE,THIS, ACTUALLY.

WHAT'S UP WITH THE GUYHITTING ME WITHA BIG STICK?

WHAT'S GOING ON THERE?

SO TRUE.SO TRUE.

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