THOSE HBO PRISON DOCUMENTARIES.
YOU EVER SEEN THOSE?
BEHIND THE SCENES OF PRISON,
MAN.
THEY TELL YOU ALL THE STUFF THAT
GOES ON.
WHO'S WHOSE BITCH.
(LAUGHTER)
I DECIDED I DON'T WANNA GO TO
PRISON.
I THINK IF A GUY TRIED TO RAPE
ME, I WOULD IMMEDIATELY TRY TO
RAPE HIM BACK.
I'D BE LIKE--
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
I'M RAPING YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU, CRAZY?
GET AWAY FROM ME, MAN!
I'M RAPING YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU, NUTS?
GET THIS GUY OFF ME!
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
FINALLY, HE'D GET ALL FED UP,
LIKE I DON'T EVEN WANNA RAPE YOU
ANYMORE!
THEN WORD WOULD GET OUT ON THE
CELL THAT I WAS A DIFFICULT
RAPE.
HE'D BE LIKE--
YEAH, HE TRIES TO RAPE YOU BACK!
REALLY?
CAN HE DO THAT?
YEAH!
HE DOES IT!
HE LIKE FOLLOWS YOU AROUND, MAN!
IT'S LIKE- IT'S REALLY
UNCOMFORTABLE!
(APPLAUSE)
YEAH, MAN!
SO, DO YOU GUYS LIKE DOGS?
DO WE HAVE A DOG CROWD HERE?
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
YEAH?
I DON'T LIKE DOGS.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
AND I'LL TELL YOU WHY:
THERE'S THIS BIG CLOUD OF LIES
AND DECEIT SURROUNDING DOGS.
CREATED BY THEIR OWNERS.
THEY'RE ALWAYS MAKING EXCUSES
FOR THE DOG'S BEHAVIOR.
"SHE JUST LIKES YOU."
(LAUGHTER)
"SHE'S BEING PLAYFUL."
YEAH, WELL SHE'S BITIN' MY ASS.
COULD YOU MAYBE DO SOMETHING
ABOUT THAT?
BECAUSE JUST A HUNCH,
I MAY NEED MY ASS.
IT'S LIKE THEY LOSE ALL ABILITY
TO GAUGE WHAT'S ACCEPTABLE
BEHAVIOR JUST BECAUSE IT'S A
DOG.
LIKE IF MY GRANDMOTHER WAS
JUMPING UP ON YOUR LAP...
AND LICKING YOUR CROTCH...
I WOULDN'T DISMISS IT WITH JUST,
"SHE LIKES YOU."
"SHE'S BEING PLAYFUL."
"GO ON, GRANDMA, LICK BALLS.
GOOD GIRL, GOOD GIRL.
WHO'S MY GRANDMA?
YOU ARE.
YES, YOU ARE.