Paul F. Tompkins - Old Prank

  • Season 7 , Ep 6
  • 03/13/2002
  • Views: 8,026

The "gag peanut brittle" product got a hot new makeover. (3:01)

THIS NEXT ONE IS A FAVORITE

OF MINE.

AND I WOULD LIKE TO DEDICATE IT

TO THE MEMORY OF ACTOR GEORGE

CLOONEY IN CASE HE IS DEAD

BY THE TIME THIS AIRS.

(LAUGHTER)

I JUST WANNA BE ON

THE SAFE SIDE.

I LIKE 'EM.

BUT JUST IN CASE.

I DON'T KNOW WHEN THIS IS GONNA

AIR.

ALL RIGHT.

I WAS IN A NOVELTY STORE

THE OTHER DAY, BECAUSE I AM

A FAN OF HILARITY.

AND I SAW THEY ARE STILL MAKING

THE GAG PEANUT BRITTLE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?

YOU OPEN THE CAN OF PEANUT

BRITTLE UP AND SNAKES FLY OUT.

AND THE TIME TO REALLY GET

SOMEONE WITH THIS, I THINK,

WAS THE MID-1800s.

(LAUGHTER)

YOU KNOW BEFORE ENTERTAINMENT

WAS INVENTED.

AND THAT WAS THE BEST THEY HAD.

BUT HERE'S WHAT THEY'VE DONE.

THEY'VE UPDATED THE PACKAGING ON

THE GAG PEANUT BRITTLE TO MAKE

IT MORE CONTEMPORARY.

NOW IT'LL WORK FOR SURE!

BUT I LOVE THAT SOMEBODY THOUGHT

ABOUT IT.

THERE WAS A GUY THAT SAID,

"GENTLEMEN, THIS IS

UNACCEPTABLE, NO ONE WOULD

BE FOOLED BY THIS OUTDATED

LOOKING CAN OF PEANUT BRITTLE.

I WANT FIVE MODERN FONTS

ON MY DESK BY 5 O'CLOCK.

FIVE BY 5:00 I SAY.

THEN THEY DID IT.

SO NOW IF SOMEONE WERE

TO COME UP TO ME AND SAY

"SAY, PAUL, WOULD YOU LIKE SOME

OF THIS CANNED PEANUT BRITTLE?"

I WOULD OF COURSE SAY,

"OH, CANNED PEANUT BRITTLE.

MY FAVORITE COMMON SNACK

THAT I EAT ALL THE TIME.

(LAUGHTER)

I'M SO USED TO SEEING CANNED

PEANUT BRITTLE THAT I HAVE

NO CAUSE TO BE SUSPICIOUS OF YOU

WHATSOEVER.

SO, YES, INDEED, SIR, MY GOOD

FINE FELLOW.

I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE SOME

PEANUT BRITTLE OUT OF A CAN.

THE MOST NATURAL SNACK IN

THE WORLD, THAT I CANNOT GET

ENOUGH OF, BECAUSE I'M SO USED

TO SEEING IT EVERY DAY THAT

I DREAM ABOUT PEANUT BRITTLE

COMING OUT OF A CAN.

SO YES, LET ME HAVE SOME CANNED

PEANUT BRITTLE.

NO, NO, NO, I'LL OPEN IT UP.

YOU HAVE DONE ENOUGH.

HERE WE GO."

GETTING READY TO ENJOY THE MOST

COMMON GARDEN-VARIETY SNACK IN

THE HISTORY OF GODS GREEN EARTH

CANNED PEANUT BRITTLE.

HERE WE GO.

I'LL JUST TWIST OFF THE CAN--

"OHHHH, MY GOD!

(LAUGHTER)

OH!

DID YOU SEE WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

NOW I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU GOT

THIS CAN OF PEANUT BRITTLE.

AT ANY NUMBER OF STORES,

I'M SURE THAT CARRY IT BUT

LISTEN, YOU SHOULD GO TELL

THE GUY, HE MUST HAVE GOTTEN

A BAD BATCH FROM INDIA

OR SOMETHING.

BECAUSE TWO VENOMOUS COBRAS

JUMPED OUT OF THE CAN ONE TRIED

TO HOOK MY EYEBALL WITH A FANG

OR SOMETHING.

WHAT, WHAT, WHAT, WHAT,

WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY?

LITTLE SPRINGS ENCASED IN VINYL?

(LAUGHTER)

SIR, YOU HAVE FOOLED ME TWICE."

THAT'S GOOD COMEDY.

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