Arj Barker - Wells Fargo

  • Season 10, Ep 13
  • 03/30/2006
  • Views: 9,396

Citibank does not know how to spell "city." (1:58)

SO, I'M THINKING OFSWITCHING BANKS.

AND MY FRIEND SAID, "WELL, WHAT'S WRONG WITH CITIBANK?"

WELL,THEY CAN'T SPELL "CITY."

[LAUGHTER]

I HOPE THEIR MATH IS BETTER THAN THEIR ENGLISH IS.

MY BANK IS CALLED WELLS FARGO. AND THEY'RE A PRETTY GOOD BANK.

TO BE HONEST I'VE NEVERHAD A PROBLEM WITH THEM.

BUT THE THING THAT KIND OF BUGS ME

IS THEY HAVE THIS OLD WESTERN THEME.

AND THEY NEVER GET RID OF IT. AND IT'S STARTING

TO MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE OLD WESTERN THEME.

'CAUSE IT'S LIKE THE YEAR 2050 AND QUITE HONESTLY

I DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH MY MONEY BEING CARTED AROUND

- IN A [BLEEP] STAGECOACH. - [LAUGHTER]

"WELL, DON'T WORRY MR. BARKER. YOUR MONEY'LL BE PERFECTLY SAFE

AS LONG AS THE WOULD-BE THIEVES DON'T HAVE ACCESS

TO A PAIR OF SCISSORS,A FIRECRACKER AND A SAW.

- [LAUGHTER] - IT'LL BE FINE."

I MEAN, THE OLD WEST WAS LIKE INSANE.

IT WAS LIKE ALAWLESS PERIOD OF TIME.

I DON'T WANT MY BANK TO BE AN OLD WESTERN BANK.

WHO'S IN CHARGE OF MY MONEY? IT COULD BE LIKE A DRUNKEN,

TOOTHLESS GOLD PROSPECTOR. IT COULD BE LIKE, "YOU DON'T--

YOU DON'T NEEDTO WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING.

YOU'RE MONEYWILL BE PERFECTLY SAFE.

OLD WHISKEY PETE HEREWILL MAKE SURE OF THAT.

I'LL-- I'LL PUT IT IN A BOOT AND-- AND BURY IT IN THE DIRT."

AND THEN I'LL PUT A PINECONE ON TOP OF IT

SO AS I ALWAYS REMEMBER WHERE IT IS.

NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,I JUST [BLEEP] MYSELF."

OH NO, WHISKEY NOT ON MY SPECIAL.

HOW ABOUT A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR WHISKEY PETE EVERYBODY.

COME ON,GIVE IT UP FOR WHISKEY.

[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

HE TRIED. HE TRIED.

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