You know, there are many ways
to keep warm in winter,you know.
One way is to take Air Force Onedown to Florida every weekend.
The other is to stayin Washington
and get grilledon the Sunday shows.
And this weekend'sshrimp on the barbie
was top White House official
and Sméagol in a suit,Stephen Miller,
who is the subject of tonight'sProfiles in Tremendousness.
I have the mostdedicated people.
I have the best people.
Meet Stephen A. Miller.
If you're wondering why his facelooks familiar,
it's probably becauseyou see him every time
you take off your socks.
Black people, black people,you can ignore that joke.
But that's not the onlyremarkable thing about him.
He's one of Donald Trump'smost important policy aides.
He's only 31 years old,
but he's worked in professional politics
for his whole adult life.
He was an aide to Jeff Sessions when he was a senator.
Then he went to work for Donald Trump's campaign
where he was Trump'schief speech writer.
Oh, okay, I don't know if thatlast part is something
I would put on my resume.
Like, speech writerfor Donald Trump
is not somethingyou can brag about
when the guy says bing-bing,bong-bong in his speeches.
Yo, like, I-I was, like,bing-bing is too much.
And I was, like, bing-bong-bong,bing-bing-bong-bing.
Now, now, before his careerin politics,
Miller was widely hailedas the least popular kid
at Santa Monica High School.
This is all true.
And, uh, maybe it had somethingto do with the fact
that as a kid in high school,he reportedly made fun
of minority students who hadtrouble with English,
hated the factthat there was a club
for gay people at his school,
and he was even a dickto janitors.
So yesterday when he made hisSunday show debut,
it was nice to see that,like most of your friends
from high school, not only hadMiller not changed,
he's gotten worse.
On issue after issue, we'retaking forceful action
to deliver on the president'scampaign promises
on a breathtaking scale.
President Trump is displayingthe strength of America
to the whole world.
Our opponents, the media, andthe whole world will soon see,
as we begin to takefurther actions,
that the powers of the presidentto protect our country
are very substantial and willnot be questioned.
All I was waiting for at the endof his interview
was lightning and an evil laugh.
But-but not like a,not like a villain laugh,
just like a basic henchman,you know?
The cheesy guy on the side,mwa-ha-ha-ha.
Our leaderwill not be questioned.
Quick question, what's up with"will not be questioned"?
What does that mean?
Sounds less like an argumentand more like a line
from Fifty Shades Darker.
I will not be questioned.
(mimics whip lashing)
By the way, the presidentwill be questioned.
Because that's sort of howAmerica works.
You know, as the Ninth CircuitCourt said last week,
checks and balances, beyotch.
(cheering and applause)
But you could tell right awaywhy Miller is a Trump guy.
Because he has the rare ability
to fully committo an outlandish lie.
President Trump again this week
suggested in a meetingwith senators,
that thousands of illegal voterswere bussed
from Massachusettsto New Hampshire.
Do you have that evidence?
I can tell you that this issueof busing voters
in to New Hampshireis widely known
by anyone who has workedin New Hampshire politics.
-Do you have any evidence?-I'm saying anybody...
Talk to anybody who's worked inpolitics there for long time.
This is sucha high school tactic
for trying to defend a lie,
Becky is the biggest slut ever.
You can ask, like, anybody.
Do you have proof?
Yeah. Like, you ask,like, anybody.
The only problem is when you doactually ask, like, anybody...
Take a listen to Fergus Cullen.
He's a former state Republicanchairman of New Hampshire.
The idea that people are comingto New Hampshire to commit fraud
on a massive scale like thisis just preposterous,
and it needs to becalled out as untrue.
Take it from Fergus Cullen--
these allegations are (bleep).
And I know Fergus is not a liar,
because if he were a liar,
the first thing he'd lie aboutis his name.
My name is Fer... James.
Anyone who introduces himselfas Fergus is an honest man.
Here's another thingwe learned about Stephen Miller.
You won't like himwhen he's angry.
I mean, he won't changephysically, unfortunately,
but he reallyratchets up the dick.
-Do you have any evidence?-and if this is an issue...
If this is an issuethat interests you,
then we could talk about it morein the future.
Just for the record, youprovided absolutely no evidence.
I'm prepared to go on any show,anywhere, anytime
and repeat it and say thepresident of the United States
is correct, 100%.
Any show, anytime, any t...
I will go on Real Housewives of Atlanta,
say the president is right.
And that his weave is muchbetter than any of theirs.
You want a piece of me, Kenya?Bring it on.
Bring it on NeNe, bring it on!Bring it on.
Anytime. Bring it on.
And just like that,
Stephen Miller became a made guyin the Trump gang.
Because, you see,his Sunday show appearance
wasn't designed to persuadeanyone or argue about facts.
It was about pledging allegianceto an audience of one.
And it worked.
Because immediatelyafter his appearance,
Don Trump tweeted,"Congratulations,
"Stephen Miller,on representing me this morning
on the various Sunday morningshows. Great job!"
You know whatthe saddest thing is?
Sean Spicer has been waitingfor that tweet his whole life.
Yeah, and noweveryone thinks he's a girl.