Randall's Roommate Ad

  • Season 2 , Ep 204
  • 04/11/2012
  • Views: 13,105

Randall learns why Carl the zombie seems so familiar. (2:00)

HEY SUDOKU IS BORING AS S--T.

WHAT IS IT,A PUNISHMENT IN CHINA

FOR GOOGLING THE WORD"FREEDOM"?

WHEN IS MARK GETTING HOME?

- HOW ABOUT NEVER?

- CARL,WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- I AM THE RIGHTFUL HEIR

TO YOUR CURRENT--NOW PAST ROOMMATE'S BEDROOM.

- OH, OKAY, RIGHT.

BUT, UH,HERE'S THE THING.

WHAT THE [bleep]ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- I'M TALKING ABOUT SAYINGGOOD-BYE TO MARK LILLY

AND HELLOTO YOUR NEW ROOMMATE...

ME!

"AWESOME GUY

"LOOKING TO SHAREUPSCALE APARTMENT.

NO KIDS, PETS,OR ACTRESSES."

- MY OLD CRAIGSLIST ADFOR THE APARTMENT.

I KNEW YOU LOOKED FAMILIAR.

[harp strumming]

- AND FOR TURNOFF,I'D HAVE TO SAY,

PEOPLE WHOWON'T BE MY FRIEND.

- BELIEVE IT OR NOT,

THAT'S THE LEAST CREEPY ANSWERSO FAR.

WRITE YOUR NUMBERON THE SIGN-IN SHEET,

AND I'LL BE IN TOUCH.

- I WAITED WEEKSFOR THAT CALL,

EVEN PUTTING A HOLDON MY PROMISING ACTING CAREER.

THE SECOND I MET YOU,

I KNEW YOU WERE THE BEST FRIENDI NEVER HAD.

- YOU MEAN,THE ONLY FRIEND?

- YOU WERE COOL, LAID-BACK,CONFIDENT,

EVERYTHING I WASN'T.

WHEN I FOUND OUTYOU RENTED THE ROOM

TO SOMEONE ELSE,

I WAS DEVASTATED.

I VOWED TO FIND OUTWHAT HE HAD THAT I DIDN'T.

I SPENT A YEARSPYING ON MARK LILLY,

DISCOVERING HIS TERRIBLE TASTEIN ENTERTAINMENT,

HIS AFFINITY FOR BOWLING,

EVEN HIS INEXPLICABLE LOVEOF EGGS.

WHAT IS THAT?

WHEN THE ZOMBIE CRAZE HIT,

I FINALLY HAD AN EXCUSETO GET INTO MARK'S CLASS.

I USED THE INFORMATIONI HAD GATHERED

TO GAIN HIS TRUST,

SO I COULD LURE HIMTO HIS DEATH.

- WAIT.YOU KILLED HIM?

- RANDALL,DON'T YOU DESERVE A ROOMMATE

WHO WOULD KILL FOR YOU?

- WELL, NOW THAT YOU PUT ITTHAT WAY...

WELL, HOW'S YOUR CREDIT?

- FREEZE, DIRTBAG!

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