- LET THE TOURNAMENTOF FIGHTING STYLES...BEGIN!
[cheers and applause]
ROUND ONE.
IRON SHOGUN VERSUSTHE SHADOW WARRIOR.
[cheers and applause]
THE SHADOW WARRIOR.
- [coughs]
- THE SHADOW--- WHERE'S THE [bleep]
SHADOW WARRIOR?- I DON'T KNOW, HE CONFIRMED.
- AH, GOOD,SO YOU TALKED TO HIM.
- UH, EMAIL.- EMAIL? YOU HAVE TO CALL.
[bleep]. OKAY, OKAY,JUST SWITCH THE SCHEDULE AROUND.
HAVE HIM FIGHT ZUN-MAI.- ZUN-MAI'S NOT HERE.
- ZUN-MAI'S NOT HERE?
UGH! WHAT ABOUT CROCODILE?- NO.
- LEROY SMAX?- NUH-UH.
- DANNY HERO?- NADA.
- BLOOD NINJA?- NO.
- YOSHIKO?- NAH.
- CYBORG?- NOPE.
- WHAT'S HIS NAME,THE [bleep] MONKEY KUNG-FU GUY.
- SORRY.- YOU CAN'T HOLD
A MYSTERIOUS, UNDERGROUNDMARTIAL ARTS TOURNAMENT
WITH ONE GUY!
- DON'T I, LIKE, WIN BY DEFAULT,OR WHATEVER?
[crowd booing]- GOT TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF
AROUND HERE.[phone ringing]
[crowd booing]
- [on phone] HELLO?- [chuckling] LEROY SMAX.
HOW'S IT GOING, MAN?IT'S YAO-ZHANG.
- YO, WHAT'S UP?- YEAH, SO WE WERE JUST HAVING
THIS WHOLE TOURNAMENT TO PROVETHE BEST FIGHTING STYLE THING,
AND WE WERE REALLY HOPING--- YEAH, SORRY, MAN, I WOULD,
BUT RIGHT NOW,I'M GETTING REVENGE
AGAINST THE SHAOLIN WARRIORWHO KILLED MY BROTHER.
- REALLY? THAT'SWHAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY DOING?
YOU'RE ACTUALLY DOING THAT?
- YEP, GOTTA GO.[video game fighting grunts]
- WELL, 'CAUSE I--HELLO?[dial tone]
GOD DAMN IT!
[dialing beeps]
[phone ringing]- YELLO?
- BLOOD NINJA, MARTIAL ARTSTOURNAMENT ON DRAGON ISLAND.
WAITING FOR YOU, BUDDY.WHERE ARE YOU?
- OH, SHIT. THAT WAS TODAY?I CAN'T.
I'M IN CONNECTICUT WITH MY KIDS.[baby babbling]
[beep]- ASSHOLE!
OKAY, I KNOWI CAN GET YOSHIKO TO COMMIT.
SHE'S ALWAYS HAD, LIKE,A THING FOR ME.
[dialing tones]
- OOH! [panting]
[phone ringing]
UGH!
[beep]
[crowd booing]- COME ON, MAN,
HE'S GOT TO FIGHT SOMEBODY,OTHERWISE,
WE LEGALLY HAVE TO REFUNDEVERYONE'S ADMISSION.
I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY, MAN.
I SPENT IT ALLON THIS [bleep] THRONE!
OH, GOD, I'M GONNA HAVE TO MOVEBACK IN WITH MY PARENTS.
- WAIT! MASTER YAO-ZHANG,CAN I BORROW YOUR PHONE?
[cheers and applause]
- HEY, DID SOMEBODYORDER A PIZZA?
UGH!
[grunts][cheers and applause]
- IRON SHOGUN WINSTHE TOURNAMENT!
[cheers and applause]- [laughs]
OH, I AM SORRY,TRAFFIC WAS JUST--
AH, COME ON!I'M, LIKE, FIVE MINUTES LATE.