Kurt Metzger - The 101 Craziest Objects

Lange, Jackson, Schachter, Melson, Keith, Metzger, Gay Season 2, Ep 1 05/17/2007 Views: 35,251

People put a lot of strange things up their asses. (1:56)

This is my favorite showI've ever seen.

It's on the Discovery Channel,

and it was called The 101 Craziest Objects

Ever Found in the Human Body.

And the lastten minutes are just

about things they found uppeople's asses at the hospital,

which is a lot of stufffrom your home.

And they talked to the doctorthat has to take that out,

and he just looks miserable,right?

'Cause, you know, that's notwhy he became a doctor probably

to do that all day.

And he looks at the cameraand he goes,

"I recommend to everyone

that they not put a foreignobject in their rectum."

And then he just getsthis sad look on his face

like he knows no one is goingto listen to him.

Tomorrow he's going to be backto square one.


It looked like he wantedto start going to schools

and talking to kidsand, like, you know,

like a "Just say no to stuffup your ass" presentation.

With objects that he pulledout at the hospital, like...

a lightbulb, a jelly jar,some mice.

"What do all these objectshave in common?

"I had to fish them outof somebody's greasy (bleep).

"That's what.

"What's wrong with you people?

"Why would you ram everythingup there until it disappeared?

"You can't leave an inchhanging out and plan ahead

for when you're donedisgracing your family?"

Mice, man, that's like a...

it's like a little biology fact.

'Cause you know human beings arethe only animal in all of nature

that sometimes shoves otheranimals up their ass.


you don't watch any natureprograms?

Does, like, a bear grab a duckand stick it up his ass?

And then, uh,he can't get it out

and they got to call some kindof medical bear to help him.