Al Jackson - Creepy Old Guy

Season 1 Views: 7,199

Al Jackson is suddenly the creepy old guy in the club. (2:17)

-I'm tired of like16-year-olds looking at me

like I'm the creepy old guy now.

I go to these MiamiBeach night clubs

and I'm clearly the olddude in the club now.

I don't that.

I feel uncomfy.

You know, when I was at theclub-- I don't even know,

I was at Mansion orsomething last night--

and I thought Iwas doing my thing.

I was doing my little two-step.

Like, I'm 30 so my rhythm'soff a little bit now.

You know what I'm saying?

I thought I wasdoing my thing and I

then I saw this girl point out.

I was like like, oh,she thinks I'm cute.

That's cool.

And then I heard what shesaid and she was like, look,

even that deaf blackguy's trying to dance.

[laughter]

It's inspirational!

[laughter]

Ugh, what else isgoing on out here?

It's cool to be back in Miami.

When I was here I didn'teven do comedy, though.

I used to be ateacher down here.

That was--

[crowd cheering]

All right, a couple people care.

Do you guys thinkyou're at a taping

of a Montel Williams event?

You can clap.

Dude, I taught seventhgrade here in Miami, man.

And it's weird, every time youtell people that you taught

middle school, everybody's likethat must've been terrible.

Man, teaching is not thatbad except for the kids, man.

It's dealing with the parents.

Those parent teacherconferences, every morning

where I used to have to sitacross from parents who looked

just like you guys andfind a really nice way

to tell you that yourchild is mildly retarded.

Yeah.

That was the onlypart I was good at.

They would get me for kidsI wasn't even teaching.

Because it's always thesame question every morning.

Like, look, Mr. Jackson, ourson got an F in your class.

Why he got a F?

And I'll tell them,I couldn't get

that little bastarda G. All right.

F is as low as I can go.

I'm trying to get somelegislation passed.

Don't worry, he can still beour president so we're cool.

[laughter]

Oh, did I sneak a politicaljoke in the middle

of a rainy street performance?

Ugh.

Dude, is anybody stilldown with Bush, anybody?

Not one person?

Dude, I feel this.

Man, I feel like I wasthe last black dude

on the planet that wasstill down with him.

I'm going to tell you why.

In 2001, when I was actuallystill teaching here in Miami,

we had to stopschool that day he

gave that educationpress conference on CNN.

And that was the one wherehe looked in the camera

and he asked our nation"is our children learning?"

[laughter]

Do y'all remember that?

I was in a classroom filledwith 35 seventh graders.

I was like, yes, they is.

You dumb bastard.

Why does our president talklike a foreign exchange student?

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