Ron G - Dream Snatcher

Friedlander, Woodhull, Yashere, Kagan, Koll, Watkins, Ron G Season 4, Ep 0408 12/11/2009 Views: 462

For some women, stealing a guy's happiness and smashing it on the ground is like going into the Final Four. (3:04)

You don't get that no more.

Now racism is a little subtle,you know what I'm saying?

That's the worse kind,you know what I'm saying?

Like, the other day,I got pissed off.

I saw a TV commercialthat made me mad.

It was a Tide laundry detergentcommercial.

It was a white ladyholding a bottle.

She was, like, "Try Tide.It keeps the whites white

and keeps the colorsfrom running."


Got my clothes smellinglike sea breeze and segregation.

Is that what we're doing?

But I'm excited about life.

Last year was a great yearfor me. I got engaged.

(audience cheers)

Haters, haters, haters.Some haters over here.

This year has been even better.

I got disengaged.Give it up for a brother.

(audience cheers)Yes!

Yes! God has delivered mefrom my situation. Yes, he has.

I got engagedto the dream snatcher,

this girl was so negative.Freakin' dream snatcher.

This girl was so goodat being negative,

the could have put heron Sports Center.

And we're back, Dream Snatcher,

you're coming off a careernight. How do you feel?

(panting) It's been a toughseason, but basically,

we blocked most of his hopesand dreams. (panting)

We had a couple rebounds

and we stole his visionand his purpose.

(panting)Yeah, he started out real goodfirst quarter,

but by the endof fourth quarter,

me and my girls, my team--

girl, come over hereand celebrate--

uh, we naggedhis confidence away, and, uh,

we feel pretty goodabout our win tonight.

Thanks, Mark.I love ya, Mama.

(hums theme music)

And I suck at dating.

Not 'cause I'm a bad guy,

but becauseI'm lactose-intolerant.

Anybody who's lactose?

Three black people.I need y'all to clap, yeah.

For real, 'cause, like,the sexy stuff I want to eat,

I can't do lasagna,I can't do ice cream.

I can't do smoothies.None of the cool stuff,

you know what I'm saying?It messes me up.

'Cause when you find outyou lactose,

you don't get no notice.It just happens.

You'll be sitting downat the table,

and you'll hear this sound:(squeaking)

What is that noise?

(squeaks) Y'all needto fix this floor.

(squeaks) Shut that baby up!I'm trying to think now.


(laughing): I'm...I'm so lactose,

I get gasoff ice cream truck music.

(to the tune of"Pop Goes The Weasel")

♪ Bloo, blo-bloo,bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo ♪

♪ Bloo, bloo-bloo,bloo-bloo-bloo ♪

♪ Bloo, bloo-bloo,bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo ♪

(squeaks)♪ Bloo, bloo-bloo-bloo.

Shut that baby up!I'm trying to think now.

But I don't know if y'all knowthis true fact:

80% of all black peopleare lactose-intolerant.

Did you know that? Google it.

The funny... the funny part is

they still putmissing black kids

on the back of milk cartons.

Wait for it. Wait for it.

Got the GD crowd over here.

I say we put them on the backof buckets of chicken.

Yeah, let me get a 16-pieceOriginal...

Hold on. Is that Leroy?

Hey, Patricia,your baby on the bucket.

And he is delicious.

(squeaks) What is that noise?Y'all need to fix this floor.

Ah, but I'm trying to get backon my feet