you guys probablyknow it up here--
called The Bridge.
Yeah, nobody ever cheersif they saw it.
For those of youthat don't know,
it's a documentaryabout all people
that jump offthe Golden Gate Bridge
trying to kill themselves.
And it was just--I thoughtit was a fascinating film
'cause they set up cameras
and they caught these people.
Well, they didn't catch 'em,but on film.
And they--[laughter and groans]
Yeah, yeah.I did that in San Francisco.
Like, I understand the why.
I understand if you wantto take an early exit.
Like, if you get to that pointin your life where you're like,
"I'm just gonna go to workfor the next 40 years.
I don't like this today.40 years of this?"
And right when you kind ofget your mind around like,
"Maybe it'll be okay,"
a coworker pops by like,"Don't forget,
there's karaokeevery Tuesday!"
You're like,"I'm taking off.
So I understand--I just never understood the how.
'Cause they show these people.
It's always the same kind ofperson, just kind of
disheveled, dirty sweatpants,shuffling up the edge.
A little bitof hemming and hawing,
and then just--pfft--over the side.
Just, like, not even one of themwore a cape or anything.
It's the last thingyou're gonna do.
Go out with a question markinstead of a period.
Let your loved ones--
It's a selfish thingyou're doing.
Give your loved onesjust, like, a moment of like,
"Huh, wha--hmm, really?"
I don't know, you know?
Go nice suit,umbrella at the last minute.
Mary Poppins theme.Confuse people.
Have one last trickup your sleeve,
If I get to that pointwhere I'm gonna get out of here,
I'm not gonna losemy commitment
to the art of performanceor personal flair.
I will do it.I'm gonna jump off a building.
But I'm gonna do it
wearing a snorkel maskand flippers.
And then right nextto where I'm gonna land,
I wanna havea little glass of water set up.
Because that way,people can wonder,
"Did he wanna kill himself,or is this
just the worst daredevilwe've ever seen?"
It wouldn't evenbe a suicide,
there'd just be a Post-iton the ledge like,
"I think I can make it."
People are like,"Make what?
"What was he gonna make?
"Logistically,this is impo--
Maybe he didn't calculatefor wind, I don't know."
Just allow that much.