YOU GUYS,THE THREE OF US

HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR A LONGTIME.

>> YEAH.

>> AND WE DO A LOT OF THINGSTOGETHER.

WE SPEND A LOT OF TIME TOGETHER.

OUR MENSTRUAL CYCLES ARE IN SYNCNOW.

>> IN FACT, THIS YEAR, WE'REGONNA SPEND THANKSGIVING DINNER

TOGETHER.

AND I JUST WANNA SAY THAT I AMSO EXCITED TO BE SPENDING THIS

THANKSGIVING WITH TWO OF MYBEST FRIENDS, DAVID AND MICHAEL.

>> AND I AM SO EXCITED TO BESPENDING THANKSGIVING DINNER

WITH ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS.

[LAUGHTER]>> I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M

EXCITED ABOUT, HAVINGTHANKSGIVING DINNER AND GETTING

ME ONE OF THEM DRUMSTICKS.

>> OH.

OH, MY GOD.

>> WHAT'S THE MATTER?

>> NO, DAVID.

IT'S JUST SO PRESUMPTUOUS OFYOU TO ASSUME THAT YOU WOULD

HAVE A DRUMSTICK WHEN YOU KNOWHOW MUCH I LIKE DRUMSTICKS.

>> I DIDN'T KNOW YOU LIKEDDRUMSTICKS.

>> OH, YOU ARE LYING THROUGHYOUR TEETH, DAVID.

WE HAD A LONG CONVERSATIONJUST THE OTHER DAY ABOUT MY LOVE

FOR THE STICK.

[LAUGHTER]>> WELL, FINE, MICHAEL.

THERE'S TWO DRUMSTICKS ON THETURKEY.

>> OH, SO I DON'T GET ADRUMSTICK, DAVID?

>> WELL, YOU NEVER SAIDANYTHING ABOUT WANTING A

DRUMSTICK.

>> WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT IHAD TO WRITE MY NAME IN BLOOD ON

THE TURKEY TO GET A DRUMSTICK,DAVID.

>> FORGET IT. I TAKE IT BACK.

>> YOU CAN'T IT BACK, DAVID.

IT'S OUT THERE NOW.

IT'S FLOATING IN THE ETHER.

>> IT IS FLOATING IN THE ETHERLIKE A TURD.

[LAUGHTER]>> YOU GUY'S, THERE ARE OTHER

PARTS OF A TURKEY.

>> OH, REALLY, DAVID?

NAME ONE.

I DEFY YOU TO NAME ONE OTHERPART OF THE TURKEY.

>> THE WING.

>> THE WING.

THAT IS SO OBVIOUS.

>> WHAT ABOUT THE WING?

>> WING IS GOOD.

WING'S A GOOD ONE.

>> NOW, WAIT A SECOND.

HOW COME HE SAID IT'S GOOD WHENI SAY IT'S OBVIOUS?

>> 'CAUSE THERE'S TWO WINGS ONA TURKEY, DAVID.

AND YOUR WING WAS OBVIOUS.

AND MICHAEL'S WING WASFASCINATING.

>> NO.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

REALLY, REALLY.

YOU GUYS EACH TAKE A DRUMSTICK.

I WON'T HAVE ONE.

>> NO, DAVID.

YOU HAVE TO HAVE ONE.

OR ELSE THE WHOLE WORLD WILLCOME CRASHING DOWN ON YOUR HEAD.

SO, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I WON'T HAVE ONE.

I'LL STARVE MYSELF TO DEATH LIKEKAREN CARPENTER.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]>> YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU GUYS, LOOK.

HERE'S WHAT WE'LL DO.

HERE'S WHAT WE'LL DO.

WHOEVER WANTS A DRUMSTICK,RAISE YOUR HAND.

In Unison: OKAY.

I WANT A DRUMSTICK.

>> YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE.

>> WHAT?

>> YOU ARE NOT GONNA LET THISGO, ARE YOU?

>> I'M NOT GONNA LIE.

I WANT A DRUMSTICK.

>> DAVID, I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUANYMORE.

I THINK DAVID'S RIGHT.

HE DESERVES A DRUMSTICK AS MUCHAS YOU OR I.

AND I HAVE A COMPROMISE THAT ITHINK WILL MAKE EVERYBODY HAPPY.

I'M GONNA ASK WHO WANTS ADRUMSTICK AGAIN.

AND WHEN I DO, DAVID, JUST FORTHE SAKE OF ARGUMENT, DON'T

RAISE YOUR HAND.

OKAY?

>> BUT I DO WANT A DRUMSTICK.

>> NO, I KNOW.

AND I WANT YOU TO HAVE ONE.

I'M JUST SAYING FOR THE SAKEOF ARGUMENT, DON'T RAISE YOUR

HAND.

>> YEAH, IT'S FOR THE SAKE OFARGUMENT.

>> OKAY.

>> YEAH.

>> ALL RIGHT.

WHO WANTS A DRUMSTICK?

In Unison: I WANT A DRUMSTICK.

>> GREAT.

SO, YOU AND I WILL HAVEDRUMSTICKS.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> CUT.

YOU GUYS, BUT I WANTED TO HAVE ADRUMSTICK.

>> HEY.

YOU KNOW WHAT, DAVID?

MICHAEL AND I FEEL REALLY GOODABOUT THIS DECISION.

AND WE REALLY NEED YOU TO BEHAPPY FOR US RIGHT NOW.

>> CAN'T YOU JUST BE HAPPYFOR US, DAVID?

>> WE REALLY NEED YOUR SUPPORT,OKAY, BUDDY?

>> SURE.

FINE, WHATEVER.

>> WAY TO GO, DAVE.

>> YOU DID IT, DAVID.

YOU DID IT.

GOOD JOB.