Chris Distefano - Pistachio Ice Cream

Chris Distefano Season 3, Ep 1 06/06/2014 Views: 15,647

Nothing makes Chris Distefano angrier than seeing a nine-year-old kid order an adult ice cream flavor. (1:27)

Over-perceptive about things.

Like, I just needed to let go.

Like, I got into a fightwith a kid.

You know?

I just got intoa fight with a kid

over something meaningless.It was ridiculous.

I'd create these thingsin my head.

I was getting ice cream.

Nine-year-old kid in front of me

orders pistachio ice cream.

I'm like, "That's anadult-flavored ice cream.

"What else you want, espresso?

"You're nine.

"You get chocolate ice cream

"with rainbow sprinks...

"or vanilla ice cream

"with chocolate sprinks.

"You gotta have sprinks.

"You're a kid.

Put some sprinks on it."

If I was the cashier,I wouldn't even give it to him.

I would have said, "Pistachio?

"Let me see your divorce papers.

"Recent colonoscopy?

"What have you been through,kid?

"That's, like,a fun flavor to you?

"It's green, it has nuts in it,you little frickin' psycho.

It's not fun."

And I rememberhe was with his mom.

And he looks upat his mom and he goes,

"Come on, Mom.You know I love pistach."

I said, "Pistach?

I'm gonna killthis (bleep) kid."