Gabriel Iglesias - Dated the Rainbow

Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy Season 1, Ep 101 04/07/2013 Views: 93,989

Gabriel Iglesias's mother was shocked and dismayed when she met his girlfriend. (2:41)

AND I DON'T WANT YOU THINKING

THAT MY GIRLFRIEND'S

A BAD PERSON.

SHE'S AN AMAZING WOMAN.

THE FACT THAT I ONLY HAVE

SEVEN STORIES ABOUT HER

IN EIGHT YEARS SAYS A LOT.

YOU KNOW, DON'T GET ME WRONG.

FIVE OF THEM HAPPENED THIS YEAR.

BUT THAT'S STILL WAY

BELOW THE BAR,

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

AND I GET QUESTIONS.

I GET QUESTIONS ABOUT HER,

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, IN THE PAST,

I'VE DONE SPECIALS

AND I'VE TALKED ABOUT

OTHER PEOPLE IN MY LIFE.

I'VE TALKED ABOUT MY MOM.

I'VE TALKED ABOUT MY DAD.

I'VE TALKED ABOUT MY SISTERS,

MY BROTHER.

I'VE TALKED ABOUT FRANKIE.

BUT I'VE NEVER REALLY TALKED

ABOUT MY GIRL, AND SO I GET

PEOPLE THAT ASK ME, YOU KNOW,

"WE WANT TO KNOW

A LITTLE BIT MORE."

FIRST QUESTION THAT EVERYBODY

ALWAYS ASKS IS, "IS YOUR

GIRLFRIEND FLUFFY TOO?"

AND, NO, SHE'S NOT.

SHE'S A LITTLE BIT CURVY,

BUT SHE'S NOT FLUFFY.

AND IT'S NOT TO SAY THAT I HAVE

ANYTHING AGAINST BIG WOMEN.

MOST OF MY EX-GIRLFRIENDS

WERE REALLY BIG GIRLS.

WHEN WE WOULD HUG, IT WAS LIKE

ARMS AND PILLOWS.

AH, YEAH, IT WAS THAT

TEMPUR-PEDIC LOVE,

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

IT WAS HARDCORE.

LIKE, WE WOULD HUG REALLY,

REALLY HARD AND THEN LET GO,

AND THEN OUR BODY WOULD COME

BACK TO NORMAL.

ANOTHER QUESTION THAT PEOPLE

ASK IS, "IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND

ALSO MEXICAN?"

YOU KNOW, IS YOUR

GIRLFRIEND MEXICAN?

AND, YES, SHE IS, BUT THAT

DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING,

BECAUSE I HAVE DATED

THE RAINBOW, OKAY?

THAT'S JUST WHERE IT LANDED,

YOU KNOW?

IT JUST...

[imitates wheel clicking]

OH, LOOK.

[trumpeting La Cucaracha]

THAT'S JUST WHERE IT LANDED,

ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW?

THE CRAZY PART WITH MY GIRL IS

THAT SHE DOESN'T HAVE

TRADITIONAL MEXICAN FEATURES,

ALL RIGHT?

SHE COULD PASS FOR WHITE,

WHICH IS FUNNY, BECAUSE THE

FIRST TIME I INTRODUCED HER

TO MY MOM, IT WAS QUITE

THE SHOW.

I TAKE MY GIRL TO GO MEET MY MOM

FOR THE FIRST TIME,

AND, YOU KNOW, MY MOM,

SHE'LL COME TO THE DOOR.

SHE'LL COME TO THE DOOR IF,

YOU KNOW, IF SHE SEES YOU

PULLING UP IN THE DRIVEWAY.

SHE OPENS THE DOOR AND JUST

WAITS FOR YOU TO GET THERE

AND GREETS YOU AT THE DOOR.

SO I'M PULLING UP, RIGHT?

YOU KNOW, SHE COMES TO THE DOOR,

AND SHE SEES ME OPENING THE

DOOR, AND THIS WHITE GIRL COMES

OUT, RIGHT?

AND SHE STARTS CUSSING ME OUT

FROM THE DOOR.

[speaking Spanish]

GET THAT WHITE GIRL...

[speaking Spanish]

AND MY GIRL SPEAKS SPANISH,

SO MY GIRL LOOKS AT MY MOM,

AND SHE'S LIKE, "HOLA, SEƑORA.

COMO ESTAS?"

AND MY MOM WAS LIKE,

"OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD!

OH, I'M SO SORRY."

I WENT, "AH, YOU SEE THAT MA?

YOU SEE THAT MA?

THEY MAKE THEM IN THAT

COLOR TOO."