Katt Williams - Government Pimps

Season 1 , Ep 0101 Views: 90,327

All of the government is pimps, 'cause pimps say sh*t to you and don't explain it. (2:48)

ABOUT POLITICS NO MORE'CAUSE I DONE FIGURED IT OUT.

ALL OF THE GOVERNMENT IS PIMPS.

THEY ALL PIMPS,

'CAUSE PIMPS SAY SHIT TO YOUAND THEN DON'T EXPLAIN IT.

THAT'S HOW OUR GOVERNMENT DO.

A PIMP WILL HAVEA WOMAN IN A CAR AND BE LIKE,

"GET OUT THEREAND SUCK SOME DICK.

WE GONNA TAKE OVERALL OF STONE MOUNTAIN."

SHE DON'T ASK NO QUESTIONS.

SHE JUST--"I DON'T KNOWHOW IT'S GONNA WORK,

"BUT I'M GONNADO MY MOTHERFUCKING PART.

I'M GONNA DOWHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO."

THAT'S HOW THE FUCKOUR GOVERNMENT TREAT US.

JUST TELL US SHITTHAT DON'T MAKE NO SENSE.

WHAT THE FUCKARE WE STILL DOING IN IRAQ?

CAN SOMEBODY TELL ME?

AIN'T WE KILLED EVERYBODY?

THAT'S WHY I LOVE AMERICA.

WE SOME GODDAMN BULLIES.

WE DON'T GIVE A SHIT.

WE BE ON CNN LIKE,"SAY OUR NAME, BITCH.

SAY IT.SAY IT THREE TIMES."

SEE, WE'RE GONNA COME OVERTHERE AND KILL EVERYBODY.

YOU DON'T BELIEVE WE GANGSTAS?

TELL ME WHATTHE IRAQI UNIFORM LOOK LIKE.

DON'T WORRY; I'LL WAIT.

'CAUSE YOU AIN'T NEVERSEEN THAT MOTHERFUCKER.

WE AIN'T KILLINGTHEY ARMY, NIGGA.

WE KILLING THEM.

WE OVER THERE KILLING NIGGASIN SWEATPANTS,

TANK TOPS, FLIP-FLOPS,AND A COWBOY HAT.

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BEENTALKING SHIT.

OUR GOVERNMENT PIMPS.

THEY GET ON THE NEWS,THEY ACT LIKE

WE AIN'T EVEN OVER THEREKILLING REAL PEOPLE.

THEY'LL NEVER GET ON THE NEWSAND SAY,

"TODAY WE KILLED FOUR MEN,THREE WOMEN, AND TWO CHILDREN."

THEY USE A WORD NIGGASCAN'T READILY IDENTIFY:

"TODAY WE KILLEDA GROUP OF INSURGENTS."

NIGGAS, WE AT THE HOUSE LIKE,

"I DON'T EVEN KNOWNO MOTHERFUCKING INSURGENTS.

"YOU CAN KILL ALL THEMMOTHERFUCKERS.

I DON'T HAVE NOT ONEINSURGENT FRIEND."

WEED WILL HELP YOUNOTICE SHIT LIKE THAT,

BUT YOU GOT TO BE CAREFULWITH THIS SUPER-STRONG WEED,

'CAUSE YOU CAN'T DO EVERYTHINGYOU REGULARLY DO.

IT'S EASY TO GET HIGH;IT IS NOT EASY

TO GET UN-HIGHWHEN YOUR BABY WALK IN THE ROOM.

NOW YOU IN THE HOUSECLEANING UP SHIT

THAT DON'T NEED TO BE CLEANED.

YOU...

YOUR BABY BE LIKE, "I DON'T EVENWANT NOTHING NO MORE!

"EVERY TIME IT SMELLLIKE PINECONES IN HERE,

DADDY BE TRIPPIN'."

YOU GOT TO BE CAREFUL.

IF YOU GOT KIDS,YOU GONNA HAVE TO

CUT DOWNON YOUR WEED CONSUMPTION.

I DON'T GIVE A FUCKWHAT YOU SAY.

IT'S COOL TO GET HIGH.

IT IS NOT COOL TO GET HIGH

AND EAT UPALL YOUR BABY'S CEREAL.

THAT SHIT IS NOT COOL.

YOU WAKE UP, YOUR BABY ALREADYIN THE KITCHEN CRYING, JUST:

[sobs]

"THANK GOD YOU WOKE UP, DADDY.

"YOU REMEMBER YOU DONEPUT THE COCOA PUFFS

"ON TOP OF THE FRIGERATOR,

AND NOW THEY NOT EVENUP THERE."

NOW YOU SO EMBARRASSED,

YOU GOT TO PLAY IT OFFWITH THE NIGGA.

YOU:

"NIGGA, THEY DAMN SUREAIN'T UP HERE.

"THEM MOTHERFUCKING INSURGENTS

DONE COME INOUR HOUSE AND"...

[laughs]

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