Bob Odenkirk - Gum Wrappers

Bob Odenkirk & Janeane Garofalo Season 1, Ep 0139 02/24/1992 Views: 2,947

Bob has some jokes about his friend Mort. (2:09)

OKAY, OKAY, I THINK YOU'RE GOINGTO LIKE THIS ONE, ALL RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT, ONE TIME I CAME HOME

AND MY FRIEND MORT WASWATCHING TV, YOU KNOW?

AND I SAID, "HEY, MORT,WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING?"

HE GOES, "WELL, IT'SAN OLD MYSTERY MOVIE.

THE BEST PART'SCOMING RIGHT UP."

I SAID, "OH, YEAH?IS THAT THE MURDER?"

AND HE GOES,"NO, IT'S THE COMMERCIAL.

I'M STARVED!"

( guffaws )

YOU LIKE THAT?

( laughter )

( laughing )

( mumbling through gum: )ALL RIGHT.

YOU'LL LIKE THIS ONE.

OKAY, ONE TIME MORT AND I,WE WERE ABOUT 16, YOU KNOW?

WE WERE DRIVING THESE CARS,WE HAD A BIG ACCIDENT.

I HAD A BLUE CAR

AND HE HAD A RED...LIME GREEN, LIKE.

I COULD NEVER TELLWHAT COLOR IT WAS.

AND I GOT OUT OF THE CAR ANDI GO, "SO WHAT DO WE DO NOW?"

AND HE GOES, "WE EXCHANGENAMES AND NUMBERS."

AND SO I SAID,"OH, FROM NOW ON I GOT TO BE YOU

AND YOU GOT TO BE ME."

YOU GOT A NECKLACEWITH THAT ONE.

( applause )

YEAH, YOU LIKE IT?

OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT.

ONE TIME MY FRIEND MORT,HE HAD THIS CAMERA

AND HE'S SNAPPING PICTURESOF EVERYBODY-- SNAP HAPPY.

AND I GO, "HEY, MORT,TAKE MY PICTURE."

( laughter )

DID I ALREADY TELL THAT ONE?

( laughter )

THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME.

( scattered applause )

YOU CAN APPLAUD.

( laughter )

( groans )

PULLED MY HEART OUT.

OKAY.