Tony Woods - A Little Get Together

  • Season 5 , Ep 8
  • 08/19/2001
  • Views: 3,294

FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

A LITTLE WHILE.

I MET THIS WOMAN IN CENTRAL

PARK.

SHE WAS LIKE A MILE DOWN THE

STREET-- A MILE.

NOW, YOU KNOW, THAT'S A VERY

LONG WAY.

BUT I CAN SEE REAL GOOD WHEN

I'VE BEEN TAKING MY GLAUCOMA

MEDICINE.

(LAUGHTER)

AND I SAID TO MYSELF--

THIS IS THE WOMAN FOR ME

AND I JUST TOOK OFF RUNNING--

WHOOM!

AND I GOT THERE QUICKER THAN

I EXPECTED, 'CAUSE SHE WAS LIKE,

ONLY A BLOCK AWAY.

IT JUST SEEMED LIKE A LONG WAY

BECAUSE SHE WAS KINDA SHORT.

NOT REGULAR SHORT, LIKE YOU

KNOW, 4'11" OR 5'1".

SHE WAS A MIDGET.

AT FIRST I WANTED TO KEEP

RUNNING, BUT I HAD ALREADY

GOTTEN HER ATTENTION--

HEY YOU IN THE RED... DRESS...

BUT IT WAS JUST A T-SHIRT.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT YOU ALL GO "OOH" AND "AAH",

BUT I DATED HER.

AND WE DATED FOR QUITE A WHILE.

YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE THIS,

BUT HERE IN NEW YORK CITY,

THERE ARE SO MANY PRIVATE CLUBS

WE WOULD GO TO...

I MEAN, WE WOULD GO TO MIDGET

PARTIES LIKE 4 NIGHTS A WEEK.

MIDGET PARTIES, MIDGET PARTIES.

OKAY.

WAIT.

THEY WEREN'T CALLED MIDGET

PARTIES.

THAT'S LIKE, NOT POLITICALLY

CORRECT.

BUT COME ON.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO A PARTY AND

THERE'S LIKE 200 MIDGETS THERE,

IN YOUR MIND, IT'S A MIDGET

PARTY.

BUT, SO AS I DON'T OFFEND

ANYBODY, WE'RE GOING TO CALL IT

A "LITTLE GET TOGETHER".

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

I GUESS THAT'S THE END AGAIN.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

AND MOST COMEDIANS, THEY END

THEIR SHOW LIKE, WITH LIKE A BIG

LAUGH, A BIG JOKE AT THE END,

WITH A BIG LAUGH.

BUT I FIGURE, WHY DO THAT.

I HAVEN'T DONE IT THE WHOLE

SHOW, SO WHY START NOW.

YOU KNOW, BUT ME--

THEY TOLD ME--

THE PRODUCERS SAID DO NOT DO

YOUR BIG ONE AT THE END 'CAUSE

IT'S JUST TOO MUCH.

THEY CAN'T ORDER IN THE THEATER,

'CAUSE YOU KNOW IT'S LIKE PEOPLE

ARE WHISTLIN', YOU KNOW, WOMEN

THROWIN' PANTIES AND STUFF...

(WOMAN'S VOICE) TONY!

TONY!

SO USUALLY, USUALLY WHEN I'M

LEAVING, I JUST, I JUST USUALLY

SAY, YOU KNOW, GOD BLESS Y'ALL

AND THANK Y'ALL FOR LAUGHING AT

ME.

MY NAME IS TONY WOODS AND RIGHT

AFTER THAT I WOULD JUST WALK

THAT WAY.

WATCH.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

Loading...