Gabriel Iglesias - Channing Tatum Voicemail

Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy Season 1, Ep 101 04/07/2013 Views: 28,246

Channing Tatum presents Gabriel Iglesias with an unexpected opportunity. (2:44)

>> AFTER I PERFORMED INTHE MIDDLE EAST, I HAD ONE

OF THE LONGEST FLIGHTSOF MY LIFE COMING HOME.

IT WAS PROBABLY ABOUT26-HOUR TRIP, OKAY?

WE LEFT OUT OF KUWAIT, AND WEHAD ABOUT FOUR STOPS.

IT WAS LONG.

WHEN I GOT HOME, I WAS SO TIRED.

I TURNED ON MY PHONE TO CHECKMY MESSAGES, AND I HAD

A VOICEMAIL MESSAGE FROM A GUYBY THE NAME OF CHANNING TATUM.

OKAY?

[women cheering]NOW, FOR THOSE OF YOU NOT

WHOO-ING, LET ME EXPLAINWHO THAT IS.

CHANNING TATUM IS THE NEWHOLLYWOOD HOT GUY.

HE'S THE GUY THAT COMES OUTIN ALL THESE MOVIES, REALLY

GOOD-LOOKING, RIPPED, YOU KNOW.

HE'S MAKING A LOT OF FILMS,AND THERE'S A VOICEMAIL ON THERE

FROM HIM.

"GABRIEL IGLESIAS, THIS ISCHANNING TATUM.

PLEASE CALL ME AT YOUREARLIEST CONVENIENCE."

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, YOU KNOW?

AND I'M LIKE, "OH, OKAY,"SO I CALLED HIM UP, YOU KNOW?

"HELLO?"I GO, "HI, THIS IS

GABRIEL IGLESIAS.

I'M CALLING FORMR. CHANNING TATUM."

HE YELLS, "FLUFFY!""HELLO?"

"OH, DUDE, MAN, I'M A HUGE FAN.

HEY, LISTEN, BRO.

REALLY QUICK, I ONLY HAVE,LIKE, A MINUTE.

LOOK, BRO, I'M DOING A NEWMOVIE, AND I WANT TO SEE

IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN READINGAND AUDITIONING FOR

ONE OF THE PARTS."

I GO, "SURE, BRAH.

I'D BE HAPPY TO AUDITIONFOR--YOU KNOW, FOR YOUR MOVIE.

WHAT'S IT CALLED?"HE GOES, "THE MOVIE'S CALLED

MAGIC MIKE."

[women cheering]

I WAS LIKE, "OKAY, MAGIC MIKE.SO YOU NEED A MAGICIAN.

YOU NEED AN ASSISTANT.

YOU WANT TO SAW ME HALF.

WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN?""ACTUALLY, BRO, THE MOVIE HAS

NOTHING TO DO WITH MAGIC.

IT'S ACTUALLY A MOVIE ABOUTMALE STRIPPERS."

I SAID, "MALE STRIPPERS?"HE GOES, "YEAH, MALE STRIPPERS."

I SAID, "YOU DO KNOW THAT THISIS GABRIEL IGLESIAS, RIGHT?"

HE GOES, "YOU'RE FUNNY, BRO.

LISTEN, WE'VE ALREADY GOTTHE DANCERS, BUT WE NEED

SOMEBODY TO PLAY THE DJAT THE CLUB.

WILL YOU AUDITION FOR THE PART?"I SAID, "YOU KNOW WHAT, BRO?

I'LL BE THERE, OKAY?"AND JUST TO LET YOU GUYS KNOW,

'CAUSE SOME PEOPLE HAVE ASKEDME IN THE PAST, "HOW COME YOU'RE

NOT IN MORE MOVIES?"BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO AUDITION,

AND I DON'T LIKE AUDITIONSBECAUSE THEY TREAT YOU

LIKE CRAP.

AUDITIONS ARE VERY COLDAND VERY JUST--

THEY MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE [bleep].

THEY SERIOUSLY DO.

YOU WORK REALLY HARD TO MEMORIZEALL YOUR LINES.

THEN YOU SHOW UP, AND YOU TRYTO DO YOUR THING, AND THEY CUT

YOU OFF REALLY QUICK.

YOU'RE IN THERE, AND YOU'RELIKE, "UM, OKAY, SO WHO--"

"HOLD ON."

"OH, OKAY, I'LL HOLD ON.

HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?""DON'T TALK TO HIM."

"ALL RIGHT, NO PROBLEM.

OKAY."

"ARE YOU READY?""YES, I'M READY.

QUICK QUESTION.

HOW MUCH ENERGY DO YOU WANT?""YOU DON'T KNOW?"

"THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING."

AND WHEN YOU'RE DONE, YOU TRYTO ASK THEM MORE QUESTIONS,

LIKE, "IS THIS OKAY?

WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO GO AGAIN?""THANK YOU."

[snapping fingers]THEY--I'VE HAD MY--

THE FINGERS.

THIS SO MANY TIMES, ANDIT HURTS.

"THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU."

AND YOU'RE SITTING IN YOUR CAR,AND YOU'RE CRYING.

[sobbing]

"THEY DON'T LIKE ME."