Aries Spears - Alive

  • Season 9 , Ep 15
  • 05/19/2005
  • Views: 10,397

If you're scared to fly, you can't go see certain movies. (2:08)

I TELL YA MAN, DON'T NOTHIN'

BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER LIKE

TRAGEDY THOUGH.

WHEN TRAGEDY STRIKES THAT'S

WHEN ALL THE RULES GO OUT THE

WINDOW, YA KNOW, 'CAUSE THAT'S

WHEN I BOND WITH PEOPLE.

LIKE YOU KNOW I HATE TO FLY,

EVEN BEFORE SEPTEMBER 11th.

I JUST ALWAYS BEEN SCARED OF

FLYING, 'CAUSE THAT'S A MESSED

UP WAY TO GO OUT.

THAT PLANE GO DOWN AND THEN IF

YOU SCARED TO FLY YOU CAN'T GO

SEE CERTAIN MOVIES 'CAUSE

THAT'LL REALLY MESS YOU UP.

LIKE I MADE THE MISTAKE AND SAW

THE MOVIE ALIVE.

Y'ALL REMEMBER THE MOVIE ALIVE?

SEE THAT WAS REAL SCARY 'CAUSE

NOT ONLY DID THE PLANE CRASH

BUT THEY HAD TO EAT DEAD PEOPLE

TO LIVE.

AND I'M THINKING THAT MIGHT NOT

BE SO BAD BUT WHAT IF DON'T

NO HELP COME FOR A LONG TIME

AND YOU DONE ATE EVERY PART OF

THE BODY BUT THE PENIS?

[LAUGHTER]

WOULD YOU EAT THAT?

FELLAS LIKE THE HELL WITH THAT,

WE BE EATIN' SNOW CONES ALL DAY!

[LAUGHTER]

BUT FOR SOMEBODY LIKE ME

WHO'S SCARED OF STUFF LIKE THAT,

THEY SHOULD RECAST THE MOVIE

SO IT'S NOT SO DARK.

LIKE BRING SOME LEVITY TO IT.

LIKE MAKE ALL THE SURVIVING

PASSENGERS BE FUNNY PEOPLE.

LIKE THE PLANE GO DOWN,

SURVIVING PASSENGERS BE LIKE

BILL COSBY, EDDIE MURPHY,

EDDIE MURPHY'S FAMILY FROM

NUTTY PROFESSOR AND LIKE WITH

THE LATEST TECHNOLOGY,

BRING BACK RED FOXX.

YA KNOW THE PLANE GO DOWN,

BILL COSBY BE LIKE THE LEADER OF

THE GROUP, [AS BILL] "COULD I

PLEASE HAVE EVERYBODY'S

ATTENTION, PLEASE?

SEE THE PLANE WAS FLYING

THROUGH THE AIR, WE'S GOING

THROUGH THE CLOUDS, WE'S...

[MUMBLING INTENTIONALLY]

[LAUGHTER]

AND THE TURBULENCE HIT THE WING

AND THE PLANE FELL INTO THE

SNOW, AND WE DON'T HAVE ANY FOOD

BECAUSE WHEN WE CRASHED, I LOST

MY SUITCASE WITH THE PUDDING.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

SO THERE'S NOTHING LEFT BUT

THE PENIS.

EDDIE WILL YOU EAT THE PENIS?"

[AS EDDIE] "MAN, GET THE [BLEEP]

OUT.

KISS MY ASS RIGHT, CAUSE I KNOW

WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN, I GONNA PUT

THE PENIS IN MY MOUTH, RESCUE

PEOPLE GONNA COME SAY, OH HE'S A

[BLEEP],

I BE EATIN' A PENIS.

I EAT [BLEEP]!

I EAT [BLEEP].

I BLOW IT OFF, KISS MY ASS,

[KISSING SOUND] TO HELL WITH

THAT.

[EDDIES' FAMOUS LAUGH]

THAT'S B.S., MAN.

HEY PAPA CLUMP, YOU GONNA

EAT IT?"

[AS PAPA] "AIN'T NOTHING WRONG

EATIN' THAT SHERMAN, GET THAT

IN YOUR COLON PLLLLT, AND YOU

FART THAT RIGHT OUT."

[AS MAMA] "RED, WHAT YOU

EATIN'?"

"I'LL EAT ANYBODY'S PENIS

'CEPT A MEXICAN.

I AIN'T EATIN' NO RAULIO, JULIO

OR CHARLIO.

MESSIN' UP YOUR DIARRHEA,

BE CRAPPING GUACAMOLE ALL OVER

THIS MOTHER."

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

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