- I'm gonna tell you a story
about Filipino momsand their sons.
Now, Filipino momsdo shit to their sons
that may not besocially accepted in America,
but I just wantyou to know, I'm okay.
Now, I know that's a creepy wayto introduce a joke,
but just believe me,I'm all right.
Now, my momwas at my house
when, uh, my son was about3 1/2, 4 years old, okay?
And he just got donetaking a bath, and he's like,
"Daddy, I'm done taking a bath!Come and get me!"
Right?And my mom was like,
"Little Jo,I'll take care of you.
Come to Grandma!Come on, come to Grandma!"
And my son was like,"Grandma!"
And he jumpedout of the bathtub--
wet, naked--running to his grandma.
"Come to Grandma!""Grandma! Grandma! Grandma!"
"Come to Grandma!"
And he got right in frontof his grandma,
and my mom grabbed his dickand went, "I got your tite!"
And he fucking ran."Aah!"
And I laughed.[laughs]
'Cause she used todo that shit to me!
I used to hate itwhen my mom grabbed my tite.
And here'sthe fucked-up part.
My mom would get mad at mefor getting mad at her
for touching my tite.
How fucked up is that?
She's like, "I got your tite!"I'm like, "Mom!
Don't do that!"
"Why can I nottouch your tite?"
"'Cause I'm 32!"
© 2015 Comedy Partners. All Rights Reserved. Comedy Central and all related titles, logos and characters are trademarks of comedy partners.