- I CAME TO SAY HIAND GET HIGH.
- [laughs]
- THIS IS MY FRIEND SARAH.
WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS SINCEWE STARTED OUT TOGETHER.
SHE'S ONE OF THE FUNNIEST PEOPLEI KNOW,
AND I JUST REALLY WANTED HERTO BE ON MY SHOW.
SARAH WAS IN SOMETHING ABOUT MARY.
SHE PLAYED THE [bleep]IN CAMERON DIAZ'S HAIR.
- JEFF, YOU KNOW I'VE HADA PROBLEM WITH DEPRESSION.
IT STARTED WHEN YOUWALKED IN THE DOOR.
IS THIS THE FIRST TIME YOU'VEBEEN IN A WOMAN'S APARTMENT
WHERE YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DISABLETHE ALARM SYSTEM?
- THE BONGO I GAVE YOUFOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.
- YEAH. IT'S RIPPED,JUST LIKE NO [bleep]
YOU'VE EVER--YOUR TINY PENISHAS EVER BEEN IN.
AH, I LOVE THAT YOU DRESSEDAS JOE PATERNO AT THE ROAST.
IT MAKES SENSE BECAUSEYOUR JOKES ARE 86 YEARS OLD,
SO IT WAS LIKE...
WHO ARE YOU ROASTING NEXT?- I DON'T KNOW YET.
- HOW 'BOUT THAT ZITON YOUR NECK?
- HELLO.
- YOU'RE SUPPOSEDTO ROAST ICONS,
AND THAT ZIT ON YOUR NECKIS AN ICON,
BECAUSE "ICON'T" BELIEVETHAT I HAVE TO LOOK AT IT!
- "ICON'T" BELIEVE YOU JUST DIDTHAT BAD JOKE.
- OH, JEFF, UM, THERE'SSOMETHING YOU'D LOVE IN HERE.
UM, HAVE YOU HEARD OF THIS?IT'S SOAP.
- HOW MANY BABIESHAVE YOU FLUSHED DOWN THERE?
- UM...WHAT'S TODAY?[laughter]
- DUCK IS A BOMB-SNIFFING DOG.
YOU SHOULD SHOW HIMYOUR ACT.
[laughter]
HOW OLD IS HE?- 18.
- I WISH I COULD BE THERETO CONSOLE YOU WHEN HE DIES,
BUT I'M BUSY TOMORROW.
THANKS, SARAH.
YOU JUST KISSED MY ZIT.
- [imitates retching]