Doug Benson - New Orgasm Noise

  • Season 4 , Ep 0406
  • 11/20/2009
  • Views: 36,199

Doug Benson is trying to come up with a new orgasm noise that he can make when someone else is present. (2:52)

her dog starts talking to her.

Just starts chatting her up.

The dog's like, "I don't like itwhen you smoke pot."

"You're differentwhen you smoke pot."

"Uh, yeah, I can talk to dogs.

"That'd be the first difference

"that leaps to mind,you stupid, talking dog.

"You're the dumbest talking dogI ever talked to.

"Why don't you ask for more foodor to be let outside

"instead of whiningabout the very thing

that enabled us to communicatein the first place."

Who wouldn't want to be ableto talk to animals?

Here's where it would reallyhave come in handy.

Remember when that guytook a slingshot

to the San Francisco Zooand it ended tragically?

You know, things would'vebeen different if that tiger

was able to look up at himand go, "Hey, man,

"if you don't knock it off,I'm going to jump over this

"400-foot embankment.It doesn't look

"like I can make it, but I can.

"I've been practicingwhen nobody's watching.

"I'm going to jump over thisthing and maul you to death

and hurt two of your friends."

They got, would've been like,"Hey, thanks

"for the heads up, Tiger.

"It's a good think I smokedthat extra smokity-smoke

"before leaving the house today,

"so we have the miraculousability to communicate.

"And I'd like to thank you,Tiger, for not going on

"and on about how awesomeFrosted Flakes are,

"sticking to the moreimportant issue--

my impending doom."

I'm trying to come upwith a new orgasm noise

to make the next timeI have an orgasm

when someone else is present.

Here's my, uh...

Here's my new orgasm I can'twait to try out on somebody.

I've been practicing it alonea lot.

And it goes like this.

(panicked moan)

That's pretty sexy right?

(panicked moan)

What woman wouldn'tbe proud of herself

pulling that reactionout of her man,

you know, in a long-termrelationship?

(panicked moan)

She'd be like,"Damn, my (bleep) is tight, yo."

"I got it goin' on!"

Oh, oh, oh-- hang on.I'm getting a phone call.

Don't panic.

I let it go to voice mail.

You don't haveto worry about it.

I just wanted to see who it was.

My uncle, his message says,"I can't answer my phone

"right now,'cause I'm either hosting

"Live at Gotham,or I'm having sex.

"So I will call you backin 60 minutes

or 22 seconds."

(panicked moan)

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