Colin Quinn - Raised in New York

Tough Crowd Stands Up with Colin Quinn Season 1, Ep 0101 12/08/2002 Views: 9,372

You can always tell who was raised in New York by how they take a compliment. (1:54)

OH, YEAH.

FIRST OF ALL, YOU CAN'TACKNOWLEDGE, YEAH, WE'LL ALL

TRYING TO GET ALONG IN THEWORLD, FOLKS, BUT LET'S NOT

PRETEND THERE AREN'T LITTLE...

ANYTIME I'M IN A KOREAN GROCERYAND A BLACK DUDE WALKS IN,

THERE'S TENSION--I DON'T CARE WHO--

I'M NOT IMAGINING IT--I THOUGHT THE FIRST FIFTY TIMES

I'M IMAGINING IT BUT THAT'S HOWIT GOES.

[LAUGHTER]FIRST OF ALL, THE BLACK DUDES

DON'T HELP WALKS IN, "YO,WHERE DO YOU KEEP THE SODAS?"

DOESN'T EVEN STOP--JUST STARTS WALKING TOWARD

THE BACK.

AND THEY GOT THE KOREAN GUYSET UP, THEY GOT LIKE, YOU KNOW,

THE KOREAN DELI, THEY GOTTHE 40 YEAR-OLD GUY STOCKING

THE SHELVES WHILE THE10 YEAR-OLD KID WORKS

THE REGISTER, YOU KNOW.

[LAUGHTER]KIDS' DOING TRIGONOMETRY

HOMEWORK WHILE...

YOU GOT THE 50 YEAR-OLDLIKE SIX MEXICAN GUYS OUTSIDE

GUARDING 11 BRUISED PEACHESOR SOME (BLEEP), YOU KNOW.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]AND THEY GOT THE, UH...

IT'S WHAT YOU SEE.

YEAH, AND THEY HAVE THE103 YEAR-OLD GRANDFATHER SITTING

ON A CRATE PICKING SNOW PEASAT TWO O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING,

YOU KNOW, THAT'S NOT VERY NICE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]HE SPENT HIS FIRST LIKE 80 YEARS

OF LIFE IN THIS IDYLLIC VALLEYSOMEWHERE IN SOME ASIATIC

BEAUTIFUL PLACE.

HIS LAST TWO YEARS ON THE PLANETIS HIM WRESTLING A PACK OF SOUR

CREAM AND ONION POTATO CHIPSOUT OF SOME KIDS' NORTH FACE,

YOU KNOW?

THAT WAS KIND OF SAD BUT YOUKNOW IT'S THE TRUTH.

BUT, FOLK'S, THAT'S WHAT IT ALLCOMES DOWN TO AND LET'S FACE THE

FACTS EVERYBODY IN NEW YORK HASLOST THEIR MINDS ANYWAY.

PEOPLE ARE, YOU KNOW,EVEN WHEN THEY TRY TO BE NICE,

YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE THEY JUSTCAN'T, UH--

THAT'S WHY-- IT'S NOT THAT THEPEOPLE IN NEW YORK ARE TOUGHER

THAN ANY WHERE, IT'S THE CRUELTYLEVEL WHEN YOU'RE WAKING UP,

YOU KNOW.

WHEN YOU'RE GROWING UP,PEOPLE JUST COME UP AND MAKE FUN

OF YOUR FAMILY, YOUR HOUSE,YOUR MOTHER.

YOU CAN ALWAYS TELL WHO WASRAISED IN NEW YORK BY HOW

THEY TAKE A COMPLIMENT WHENTHEY'RE AN ADULT.

"HEY, NICE HAIRCUT."

"SCREW YOU, WHAT'S WRONG WITHIT?"

[LAUGHTER]"NO, NO, I SAID IT WAS NICE.

YOURS IS NICE, TOO."