Gladys's Conjugal Visit

Kevin Nealon & Jordan Rubin Season 2, Ep 13 09/23/2003 Views: 25,338

Despite the fact that she doesn't know anyone in prison, Gladys is eager to arrange a conjugal visit. (1:50)

>> Correctional.

>> Hello.

I would like to talk to someone

about volunteering for conjugal


>> Uh, you'd have to talk to the

guidance counselor for whoever

you wanted to visit.

>> Oh, no one in particular.

I just want to... there's a

lonely fella who needs a little


>> That's not how it works.

It can only be family.

>> So I can't... if my cousin is

there, I can come, you know,

and have a conjugal visit in the

trailer, but he has to be

related to me?

>> Correct.

>> Do you know if they provide

you with rubbers, or you got to

bring your own?

>> I would assume that you have

to bring your own.

I don't think we supply


>> You'd think our tax dollars

would do a little something,


>> Yeah, you would think.

>> I just do it 'cause I like to

see the smiles on their faces.

>> I'm sure you would.

>> I'm just trying to do my


I tell you, I got some sugar

walls, baby, you know.

It just sucks all the anger

right out of a man.

>> Exactly.

>> Have you ever dated a man in

the joint?

>> Oh, God no.

>> There's something about them

don't appeal to you?

>> No, no, no, no.

>> I'll tell you, there's some

sexy... up in there.

>> No, I'm sure there are.

>> You ever watch that show Oz?

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Boy, I tell you, they get it

on, don't they?

>> They do, but...

>> I think you should have a go

at it.

>> No, no.

>> Go in there and conjugate.

>> Yeah.

>> What about you and me?

You looking for some action?

>> Uh, not at this time.

>> I'll loosen you right up.

>> I'm sure you would.

>> I tell you, girl, I'll lick

you cross-eyed.

You know the warden?

Oh, I tore him up.

>> Did you?

>> Oh, boy did we have a go at


>> Now, he is one who definitely

needs some little something.

>> You know, he was a little all

uptight at first.

>> I'm sure he was.

>> Did you know he was a freak?

>> The quiet ones usually are.