Robert Kelly - Socks to Bed

  • Season 12 , Ep 22
  • 04/03/2008
  • Views: 15,616

Robert's fiance hates that he sleeps fully naked with socks on. (1:48)

I'M GETTING MARRIED

IN TWO MONTHS,

WHICH-- NO, NO, NO, NO.WHY ARE YOU APPLAUDING?

SHE COULD BE A JERK.YOU DON'T KNOW HER.

OH, IT MAKES METHROW UP IN MY MOUTH

- WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT.- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

IT'S-- IT'S-- I DON'T KNOWIF IT'S GOOD OR BAD I'M JUST--

IT'S JUST WEIRD,'CAUSE ALL OF A SUDDEN,

YOU KNOW, NOW THATI ASKED HER TO MARRY ME,

SHE THINKS SHE HAS ME FOREVER.SO, ALL THE LITTLE PET PEEVES,

THINGS I DO THAT SHE HATESARE COMING OUT.

LIKE, WHEN WE GO TO SLEEP,SHE HATES THE WAY I GO TO BED.

I SLEEP A LITTLE WEIRD.I SLEEP FULLY NAKED WITH SOCKS.

I THINK IT'S SEXY AS HELL.I DON'T WHY SHE'S COMPLAINING.

I'M TALKING TUBE SOCKSFROM LIKE, 1978.THEY COME UP TO MY KNEES.

I LOOK LIKE OLIVIA NEWTON JOHNIN "LET'S GET PHYSICAL" VIDEO.

THAT'S HOW HOT I'M POPPIN'.AND SHE GETS MAD.

"BUT I WANNA BE NAKED.WHY CAN'T WE BOTH BE NAKED,

SO WE CAN FEEL EACH OTHER?""THE THING YOU NEED TO FEEL

- DOESN'T HAVE A SOCK."- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

"ARE YOUR FEET COLD?" "NO.BUT IF SOMEBODY BREAKS IN

- AND I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM...- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I DON'T WANNA GET SPLINTERS.

AND I WANNA SLIDE TO 'EMLIKE A MAGICIAN.

JUST-- WHOOSH!--ARE YOU READY?-- WHOOSH!--

- AND SLIDE AWAY.- [LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

THAT WOULD SCARE THE HELLOUT OF ANY BURGLAR,

JUST A FAT, BALD, NAKED GUYICE SKATING TOWARDS YOU

IN THE LIVING ROOM, JUST--WHOOSH, WHOOSH, WHOOSH!--

WHAT'S UP, BURGLAR MAN?WRONG HOUSE. AND I'M JUST GONE.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

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