DL Hughley - Erectile Dysfunction

DL Hughley: Shocked and Appalled Season 1, Ep 101 05/15/2005 Views: 3,435

DL Hughley is amazed that people got so up in arms over Janet Jackson's Super Bowl boob exposure. (2:55)

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MICHAEL JACKSON'S IN TROUBLE.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW

MICHAEL JACKSON GOT IN TROUBLE

'CAUSE I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHO

THE PARENTS DUMB ENOUGH TO DROP

THEIR KIDS OFF AT MICHAEL

JACKSON'S HOUSE?

I DON'T GET HOW YOU DO THAT?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

LIKE YOU JUST, YOU JUST

PULL UP, 'CAUSE MICHAEL IS A

GREAT SINGER BUT HE IS A

[BLEEP] BABYSITTER.

THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.

[LAUGHTER]

LIKE YOU PULL UP, "MOMMY'S

GOING TO WORK, YOU STAY HERE

WITH THE MAN WITH THE SILVER

GLOVE AND THE MONKEY."

[LAUGHTER]

DON'T NOBODY TRUST MICHAEL

JACKSON WITH THEY KIDS.

YOU AIN'T NEVER SEE NONE OF

TITO'S KIDS SPENDING THE NIGHT

OVER MICHAEL JACKSON'S HOUSE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

"WE WANT TO SEE UNCLE MICHAEL."

"WELL, PUT A THRILLER VIDEO IN,

THAT'S THE CLOSEST WE COMING."

[LAUGHTER]

JANET JACKSON'S IN TROUBLE.

JANET JACKSON'S IN TROUBLE

'CAUSE HER BREAST CAME OUT

DURING THE SUPER BOWL.

AND THESE PEOPLE LOST THEY DAMN

MINDS.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE JANET JACKSON

PULLED HER BREAST OUT DURING

THE SUPER BOWL!

FOR [BLEEP] SAKE, THE SUPER BOWL

IS FAMILY HOUR!"

IF THAT AIN'T THE MOST

HYPOCRITICAL THING I EVER SEEN

'CAUSE I'M TELLING YOU, I WATCH

THE SUPER BOWL.

AND ALL I SAW WAS BEER AND

VIAGRA COMMERCIALS.

THAT'S ALL I SAW.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND UM...

I, I, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU

BUT WHEN I DRINK A BEER AND

TAKE A VIAGRA I NEED TO SEE A

TITTY, THAT'S THE WAY IT GO

FOR ME.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

OTHERWISE...

OTHERWISE, IT'S FALSE

ADVERTISING.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

JANET STOPPED ME FROM SUING

SOMEBODY.

"OH, ALL RIGHT I HAD BEEN SEEN

A TITTY OR..."

[LAUGHTER]

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS

COUNTRY GOT SO UPSET ABOUT

JANET JACKSON PULLING HER

BREAST OUT.

DO YOU KNOW IN THE PRIME TIME

TELEVISION HOUR 56 ACTS OF SEX

OCCUR AND WE LOSE OUR MIND?

WE'RE A NATION OBSESSED BY SEX,

WE ARE.

WE ARE OBSESSED BY SEX.

WE GOT LAVITRA, VIAGRA AND

CIALUS.

WE FIXED THE [BLEEP] BEFORE

WE CURED CANCER.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING?

"HEY, HEY DOC IS HE GONNA

MAKE IT?

I MEAN HE HAS CANCER."

"YEAH, HE GONNA MAKE IT...

WITH THE NURSE.

"YOU SEEN THE SIZE OF THIS DUDE

IN THERE?"

[LAUGHTER]

WE GOT VIAGRA.

YOU SEEN THIS VIAGRA COMMERCIAL,

"HEY JIM, ARE YOU LOSING WEIGHT?

[LAUGHTER]

JIM, DID YOU GET A HAIRCUT?"

NO, JIM'S [BLEEP].

JIM IS [BLEEP].

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

CIALUS LAST 36 HOURS.

TWO OLD ASS PEOPLE SWINGING IN A

HAMMOCK.

YOU SEEN THIS COMMERCIAL?

[LAUGHTER]

"YOU KNOW I GOT 36 HOURS.

AND GOT THE DUMBEST WARNINGS

IN THE WORLD.

"IF YOU HAVE AN ERECTION

FOR MORE THAN FOUR HOURS,

YOU SHOULD CALL A DOCTOR."

IF I GOT AN ERECTION FOR MORE

THAN FOUR HOURS, I'M A CALL

A HOOKER, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT

Y'ALL.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I'M TRYING TO BE A LEGEND

AROUND HERE.