to myself throughbad choices.
So, that might be--
And I-and I buy clothesat thrift stores.
But the thing is, that'snot the trashy part.
The trashy part isI will try the stuff on
while I'm there.
You can't getcheaper than that.
You can't be...
I'm in there, I'll be,"Well, it's nice.
"I mean, I don't know ifit's a $1.85 nice, but--
"Helps bringout my eyes."
I've almost boughtmy own clothes bag
from a thrift store.
Have you donethat one yet?
Ya know, you're like,"Oh, this shirt's great.
"It reminds me of somethingI use to-- Oh, damn it."
I, uh-I uh... Thisis what I look like?
[cheering and applause]
I know what I can and Ican't do in this world.
Ya know, with what-- I-I-I--This is what I look like.
I know what Ican and can't do.
I know that I can effectivelyhaggle down the price
of a replica civil warbayonet at a swap meet.
I don't even know whatI'm taking about, but this,
I can get that guydown to 20 bucks
just with eye contactand confidence.
I know Ican do that.
Nobody here's gonna besurprised if you see me
about to get in a fistfight with the night manager
of a Red Lobster over thetechnical start and end time
of Shrimp Fest.
If you see me marchin'around that lobby
rollin' up my sleeveslike, "God damn it, Doug.
Don't tell meyou can't make 'em,
tell me you won't make'em 'cause it's 11:58.
Just behonest with me.
That's what it is.
What's funin this world.
The best part of this worldis when you find out
what you can't do.
And the only way you findout what you can't do
is when you try doin'somethin' and you fail at it.
You can't bescared of that.
That process iscalled learning
and you can't be scaredof learning, ya know?
That's just-- Make sure youtake the lesson from it.
Like, I learned that Ican not take off my shirt
and then look after two boysages three and one years old
at a family aquatic centerin East Lansing, Michigan
on a Tuesdayafternoon.
Nah, they weremy friend's kids.
I'm not a creep,all right.
I-I had a rightto be there.