Jared Logan - Recent Break Up

  • Season 3 , Ep 2
  • 07/27/2012
  • Views: 11,463

Jared Logan and his ex-girlfriend get in trouble for making love in his childhood bedroom. (2:55)

AH--YOU GUYS SEEM LIKE YOU'REDOING--AH--PRETTY WELL.

I AM NOT DOING AS WELL.

I--I RECENTLY BROKE UPWITH MY GIRLFRIEND, SO...

(aws)THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW, WE JUST DIDN'T HAVEANYTHING IN COMMON.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

LIKE--BUT WHEN THAT HAPPENS,

YOU HAVE TO TRY TO COMPROMISE,RIGHT?

SO, LIKE,I TRIED TO COMPROMISE WITH HER,

LIKE, I REMEMBER ONETIME I WAS, LIKE,

"LOOK, IF YOU GO WITH METO MY "LORD OF THE RINGS"

FAN FICTION MEET UP GROUP,

I'LL GO WITH YOUTO THIS ULTRASOUND THING."

HER THING WAS BORING.IT WAS BORING.

IT WAS REALLY BORING.

BUT NOW I DON'T HAVE ANYBODYTO HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH,

YOU KNOW.

I'LL TELL YOU--I'LL TELL YOU,GUYS,

THE HOTTEST PLACE I EVERMADE LOVE TO MY EX--

I'LL TELL YOU SPECIFICALLY.

THE HOTTEST PLACE THAT I EVERMADE LOVE TO MY EX-GIRLFRIEND...

WE WERE IN MY HOMETOWN.

I'M FROM MORGANTOWN,WEST VIRGINIA,

AND ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER,

AND WE ENDED UP HAVING SEXIN MY CHILDHOOD BEDROOM.

SO...

BUT--BUT WE GOT IN HUGE TROUBLE

'CAUSE I FORGOT TO TELL HERTHAT SHE HAD TO BE QUIET,

BECAUSE MY FAMILY DOES NOTLIVE IN THAT HOUSE ANYMORE.

SHE GOT ARRESTED.I GOT OUT THE WINDOW.

I NEVER SAW HER AGAIN.

I MENTIONEDI'M FROM WEST VIRGINIA.

NOW I DON'T HAVE MUCHOF AN ACCENT

BUT PEOPLE WHERE I GREW UP,

THEY TALKED DIFFERENT THANWE TALK HERE.

FOR EXAMPLE, A LOT OF PEOPLEI KNEW GROWING UP

USED THE WORD 'YUNS'.

HAS ANYBODY HEARD THE WORD'YUNS'?

IT'S A CONTRACTION OF--YEAH,

IT'S A CONTRACTION OF YOUAND WANTS.

IF YOU HAVEN'T HEARD IT,

I'LL USE IT IN SENTENCE SOYOU KNOW HOW IT WOULD BE USED,

HOW YOU WOULD USE 'YUNS'IN A SENTENCE.

HI...

YUNS WANNA GOTO THE PUDDLE WE SIT IN?

HI, YUNS,I FINALLY FOUND A STICK

WE CAN USE TO HIT THAT CAT.

HI, YUNS, GUYS,I FOUND A PILE OF DIRT.

WE CAN MARRY.

(laughter)

AND I GREW UP WITH A KID WHOLIVED WITH HIS GRANDMA,

AND HE CALLED HIS GRANDMAHIS MONGEY.

THAT'S A REAL THING,AND SHE WOULD GET US

THOSE KOOL-AID DRINKS CALLEDSQUEEZE-IT'S.

DO YOU REMEMBER THOSE?(audience shouts yeah)

BUT SHE CALLED 'EM SQUEEZY'S.

SO A CONVERSATIONIN THAT HOUSE WOULD GO--

"HEY, NATE, TELL YOURMONGEY TO GET US A SQUEEZY."

"YUNS WANNA SQUEEZY?"

"YES, THANK YOU, MONGEY."

(cheers and applause)

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