Jamie Lissow - Skateboarding

  • Season 13 , Ep 8
  • 01/11/2009
  • Views: 4,535

A studio apartment is where you live in one room and you pretend like that's okay. (2:17)

TO HAVE FUN IN NEW YORK.

I SAW LIKE, A SKATEBOARDING,YOU KNOW, IN TIMES SQUARE.

I GUESS PEOPLE STILL DO THAT--FOR WHATEVER.

AND POLICEMEN STARTEDYELLING AT HIM, LIKE,

"DUDE, THERE'S NO SKATEBOARDINGIN THIS AREA" RIGHT,

AND THE SKATEBOARDERLOOKED AT THE POLICEMAN

AND HE GOES,"HEY MAN, SCREW YOU."

WHICH I DON'T THINKYOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT,

JUST BASED ONTHE POLICEMAN'S REACTION.

AND THEN, THE POLICEMAN TRIEDTO STRANGLE THE SKATEBOARDER,

WHICH I GUESS,YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DOIN THAT CASE, RIGHT?

AND-- THE SKATEBOARDERTRIED TO GET AWAY.

FIRST, HE STARTED TO LIKE,SKATEBOARD AWAY,

AND THAT WASN'T WORKING OUT.THE COP WAS GAINING ON HIM.

THEN, HE PICKED UP THE BOARD,DISAPPEARED, RAN AWAY WITH IT.

RIGHT, I'M KIND OF WATCHINGALL OF THIS, KIND OF FUNNY.

AND THEN IT HITS ME, MAN.I'M LIKE, "WOW!

WHAT A CRAPPYFORM OF TRANSPORTATIONSKATEBOARDING IS.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?LIKE, IF YOU HAVE A VEHICLE,

AND THEN YOU'RESUDDENLY IN A HURRY,

AND IT'S ACTUALLY FASTERTO PICK IT UP AND RUN WITH IT?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

MAYBE YOU CHOSEA BAD TYPE OF TRANSPORTATION.

WE GET ALLTHE LAWS FIRST IN NEW YORK.LIKE, WE GOT UM--

LIKE WE GOTTHE CELL PHONE DRIVING LAW.WE GOT THAT FIRST.

IF ANYBODY'S FROM OUT OF TOWN,YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS,

THE LAW STATES THAT IF YOU'RETALKING ON YOUR CELL PHONE,

AND YOU'RE DRIVING,AND YOU SEE A POLICEMAN,

YOU HAVE TO PUT YOURPHONE DOWN FOR A SECOND.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

THAT'S THE LAW, MAN.

YEAH, YOU'RE NOTALLOWED TO PICK IT UP AGAIN

TILL HE'S GONE.YOU HAVE TO WAIT, OR THAT--THAT'S ILLEGAL.

I GOT BUSTEDBY THE COPS RECENTLY

AND I WAS AT A STOPLIGHT,AND I'M ON THE PHONE

AND I JUST LOOK OVER,AND THERE'S A COP,

AND HE'S LIKE,LOOKING AT ME.

AND I'M JUST LIKE,LOOKING AT HIM-- HA-HA--AND I WAS LIKE,

WHAT DO I DO, DO I JUSTSURRENDER?LIKE, WHAT HAPPENS NOW?

- I'M OBVIOUSLY--- [LAUGHTER]

I'M OBVIOUSLYON THE PHONE HERE.

BUT THEN THE COP JUST LIKE,SQUINTED AT ME, RIGHT,

SO, I WAS LIKE-- OH MY--MAYBE HE DOESN'T KNOW

IF I HAVE APHONE OR NOT, RIGHT?

SO, I DID WHATANYBODY WOULD'VE DONE, RIGHT.I DROPPED THE PHONE.

I DID LIKE A-- BLOOP-- AND THENI TRIED TO PRETEND LIKE

I JUST DRIVE LIKE THIS,WITH MY HAND ON MY EAR.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

JUST DRIVIN' AROUND, MAN,LIKE I DO.

HANGING ON TO MY EAR.

NOTHING UNDER THERE,IF YOU WERE WONDERING.

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