Amy Schumer - Reunited with Snuffleupagus

Amy Schumer: Mostly Sex Stuff Season 1, Ep 1 08/18/2012 Views: 45,631

Why would a guy neglect to tell Amy Schumer about a missing (or extra) body part? (2:30)

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I THINK GUYS HAVE IT EASIER.

I'M NOT SURE.

WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?YEAH, YOU DO?

DID YOU EVER SEEAN UNCIRCUMCISED PENIS?

YOU DID?DID YOU KNOW--

DID YOU KNOWYOU WERE GONNA SEE IT?

NO, IT'S ALWAYS A [bleep]INGSURPRISE PARTY, RIGHT?

[laughter]

IT'S A BIG--IT'S HIM, RIGHT?

IT'S HIM.

WAIT, HERE'STHE FUNNIEST THING.

I'M SORRY THAT EVERYONEKNOWS ABOUT YOUR PENIS NOW.

BUT HERE'S THE BEST PART,

HE'S WEARING A SHIRTTHAT SAYS "BROWNCOATS."

YOU JUST--NOBODY EVERTELLS YOU, RIGHT?

HE DIDN'T TELL YOU.THEY DON'T TELL YOU SHIT.

THEY'RE JUST LIKE, BOOM,

REUNITED WITH SNUFFLEUPAGUS,ENJOY.

ENJOY.

YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTE.

WHY DON'T THEY TELL US?

TELL--TELL ME.

WE HAVE TO BECOMEAWARD-WINNING ACTRESSES.

LIKE, "OH, NO.THAT'S TOTALLY COOL.

"MOM, CAN YOUCOME PICK ME UP?

"I DON'T KNOW, IT'S WEARING,LIKE, A HAT OR, LIKE, A CAPE.

LIKE, A BROWN COATTYPE THING."

[laughter]

WHY DON'T THEY TELL US?

I WOULD TELL YOU IF I HADAN EXTRA FLAP OVER MY CLITORIS.

I'D GIVE YOU A HEADS UP.I WOULD.

[laughter]

I'D BE LIKE, "YOU'RE GONNAENCOUNTER A WIZARD, KEEP GOING.

"GO.

TAKE THIS COMPASS."

I'D MAKE IT EXCITING,

PLAY THE MUSICFROM ZELDA.

IT'D BE GREAT.

[laughter]

I HOOKED UP WITH A GUY ONE TIMETHAT HAD NO TESTICLES.

COUNT THEM,ZERO "TESTICALO."

YOU THINK HE BROUGHT THAT UPAT DINNER?

'CAUSE HE DIDN'T.

I GOT TO FIND OUTIN REAL TIME.

IT WAS DARKIN THE ROOM.

LET ME PAINTTHE ROMANTIC PICTURE HERE.

AND I WENT RIGHT TO THE SPOTI KNOW THEM TO ALWAYS BE,

NO GPS NECESSARY.

I PICKED UPTHE MAIN EVENT AND NOTH--

I FELT LIKEA GIRL LEARNING BRAILLE.

I JUST KEPT...

AND, LIKE, WE DON'T--

LIKE, GIRLS DON'T CAREABOUT YOUR BALLS.

LIKE, NO ONE CARE--

LIKE, I WOULD NEVER CALLMY SISTER THE MORNING AFTER

AND BE LIKE, "HEY, OKAY.

"SO, LIKE,THE SEX WAS LAME,

"BUT THIS GUY'S BALLS...

AHH."

NO.

BUT WHEN THEY'RE NOT THERE,YOU MISS 'EM.

THEY'RE LIKEGRANDPARENTS.

[laughter]