Jeremy Hotz - Ugly

  • Season 3 , Ep 3
  • 06/20/2000
  • Views: 5,032

Jeremy Hotz's nose looks like an elbow attached to his face. (1:27)

BORN WITH AN ELBOWSTUCK TO MY FACE.

CHRIST, I'M AN UGLY MAN.

OH, I'VE NOTICED IT.

I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING,

LOOK IN THE MIRROR,AND THINK [bleep].

GET A RULER AND MEASURETHIS SON OF A BITCH RIGHT HERE.

I'VE GOT A HIGH FOREHEADALL OF A SUDDEN.

LATELY I'VE BEENWALKING AROUND LIKE THIS

SO PEOPLE DON'T NOTICE.

NO, I'M NOT GOING BALD.

I'M JUST REAL OPTIMISTICABOUT EVERYTHING.

I'M GETTING OLD.I CAN'T STOP IT.

WHAT A MISERABLE LIFETHIS TURNED OUT TO BE.

LOSING THE HAIR ON MY HEAD;

GETTING SOME NEW HAIRRIGHT ABOVE MY ASS AT THE BACK.

WHAT THE HELLKIND OF TRADE-OFF IS THAT?

WHEN AM I EVER GOINGTO USE THIS HAIR RIGHT HERE

UNLESS I BECOMEA TELEVISION REPAIRMAN?

YOU'VE SEEN THOSE GUYS.

WHAT THE HELLIS THEIR PROBLEM?

"YOUR CRACK IS STICKING OUTOF YOUR PANTS, MAN.

"CAN YOU NOT FEEL THAT?

COME HERE."

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