Rell Battle - Scared of Jail

Non-Stop Dance Party Season 2, Ep 10 11/07/2014 Views: 3,810

Even though prisoners get cable TV and swimming lessons, Rell Battle doesn't want to go to jail. (1:15)

YOU GOT TO FIGHT FOR YOUR GANG.

I DON'T FIGHT, MAN.I CAN'T DO THAT.

I'M SCARED TO GO TO JAIL.THAT'S WHY I'M NOT GONNA FIGHT.

YOU SEE THIS FRAME, LADIES?

THIS AIN'T THE PROPER FRAMEFOR JAIL.

PEOPLE IN JAILGET SO MUCH NOW.

PEOPLE IN JAIL GET CABLE TV,ICE CREAM THURSDAYS,

CASUAL FRIDAYS.

MY COUSIN'S TAKINGSWIMMING LESSONS IN JAIL.

LEARNING HOW TO SWIM IN JAIL.

I CAN'T SWIM NOW.

I'M LIKE, "MIKE, YOU HAVETWO LIFE SENTENCES,

"NO CHANCE OF PAROLE.

"WHEN ARE YOU GONNA MAKE ITTO THE BEACH?

WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN?"

PEOPLE IN JAIL ARE GETTINGCOLLEGE EDUCATIONS IN JAIL NOW.

SO IT'LL GET TO THE POINTWHERE THE PRISON GUARD'S

GONNA COME TO THE CELL.

"UH, PRISONER, UH, 4493486,

I'M GONNA NEED YOUTO STEP ON OUT OF YOUR CELL."

"SIR!

THAT'S 'DR. 4493486.'"

PEOPLE IN JAIL ALWAYS WANTTO CALL YOU AND GIVE YOU ADVICE

WHEN THEY IN JAILAND SHIT.

"HEY, BROTHER, UH, LISTEN,

"I WAS READING...

"IN JAIL.

"BETTER PUT THAT PORK DOWN.

"NO, THEY SAYHIGH BLOOD PRESSURE

IS THE NUMBER-ONE KILLERIN OUR COMMUNITY."

ASSHOLE, YOU'RE THE NUMBER-ONEKILLER IN OUR COMMUNITY.

[laughter]

THAT'S WHY YOU IN JAIL!

HIGH BLOOD PRESSUREAIN'T GOT NOTHING