Margaret Smith - Ma'amogram

Margaret Smith & Rick Corso Season 1, Ep 0159 02/24/1992 Views: 2,368

Mammograms are great if you're looking for dorsal fins. (1:16)

I NEEDED A BENCH,SO I ASKED THIS GUY

HOW MANY SETS HE HAD LEFT.

HE GOES, "OH, I HAVETHREE MORE, MA'AM."

"MA'AM"... AT THE "MA'AM"STAGE OF MY LIFE.

YOU SHOULDN'T BE CALLED MA'AM

TILL YOU'VE HADYOUR FIRST MAMMOGRAM.

( laughter )

YOU EVER GETONE OF THESE THINGS?

YOU'RE IN ONE ROOM,YOUR BREAST IS IN THE OTHER?

( laughter )

THEY TAKE IT HOSTAGE, PUT IT INA VISE, START CRANKING IT SHUT

LIKE YOU HAVE THE SECRETROCKET FORMULA.

YOU DON'T THINK IT'SEVER GOING TO GET BACK

INTO ITS NATURAL SHAPE AGAIN.

YOU'RE GOING TO BE ROLLING IT UPTO GET IT BACK IN THE BRA.

JUST PUT A LITTLE HAM KEYON THE END OF IT

AND CURL IT SHUT, YOU KNOW.

( laughter )

THEN THEY'RE NOT FINISHED--THEN THEY SMASH THEM THIS WAY.

IT'S LIKE,"OH, GOOD, DORSAL FINS.

"MAYBE I'LL GO KAYAKINGDOWN THE EAST RIVER.

GRAB AN OAR, JUMP ON."

( laughter )

THAT'S WHEN YOU START LOOKINGAROUND ON THE WALL

FOR THE DIPLOMA.

"THIS WAS NOT IN THE BROCHURE!"

BECAUSE THEY'RE LOOKINGFOR LUMPS.

"IF THERE WAS A LUMP,YOU IRONED IT OUT!"