DL Hughley - Slow Kids

DL Hughley: Shocked and Appalled Season 1, Ep 101 05/15/2005 Views: 11,362

According to DL Hughley, it takes a lot to get a black person to admit that there's something wrong with their child. (2:33)

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WE ARE RAISINGA NATION FULL OF THE DUMBEST

KIDS I EVER SEEN IN MY--I'M NOT JUST TALKING ABOUT

Y'ALL KIDS, I'VE GOT THREEDUMB ASS KIDS AT HOME, TOO.

AND THEY JUST OUT OF SHAPE.

HOW THE [BLEEP] YOU FIVE ANDFAT?

HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

"COME HERE."

"I CAN'T, I'M FIVE AND I'M FAT.

[APPLAUSE]I'LL COME IF YOU GIVE ME

A SNACK, I'LL BE THERE,I'LL COME."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]WE HAVE MADE THEM SOFT.

AND THEY SOFT, JUST [BLEEP]SOFT.

YOU LEAVE 'EM IN THE CAR IN THESUMMER AND THEY DIE.

WHAT TYPE OF [BLEEP] IS THAT?

WE GOT LEFT IN THE CAR IN THESUMMER AND WE DIDN'T DIE

'CAUSE WE HAD SENSE ENOUGHTO GET OUT THE CAR.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]THAT'S WHAT I THINK.

GET OUT OF THE CAR.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]THAT'S...

"IT'S--IT'S HOT.

WE'RE IN THE CAR.

ARE WE GONNA DIE?""NOT ME, I'M GONNA GET OUT

THE CAR."

"MAMA SAID DON'T GET OUTTHE CAR."

"I'LL TAKE THE WHOOPIN' THEN.

YOU--"[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

NOW WHEN THEY CAN'T LEARNWE MAKE EXCUSES.

INSTEAD OF MAKING THE SCHOOLSBE ACCOUNTABLE AND HOLDING

THE SCHOOL SYSTEMS ACCOUNTABLE.

"OH, NO, NO, NO, YOUR CHILDCAN'T LEARN 'CAUSE HE HAS A

LEARNING DISABILITY, ADD ORDYSLEXIA.

WHEN WE WAS GROWING UP WASNO SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION.

IF YOU COULDN'T LEARN YOU WEREJUST STUPID.

THEY'LL TELL YOUR MAMA AT THEPTA MEETING.

"OH, WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY SON?""YOUR SON IS DUMB AS HELL,

MRS. HUGHLEY.

WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY HE KEEPCOMING."

[LAUGHTER]AND I KNEW I WAS DUMB 'CAUSE

I WENT TO THE LITTLE SCHOOL INTHE BACK OF THE REAL SCHOOL.

HAD THE CHAIN LINK FENCE AROUNDIT.

GO AT 10:00 GET OUT AT 12:00.

ALL THE STUDENTS HAD A BIG HEADAND A LITTLE LEG.

YOU GUYS ARE RETARDED.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]SEE THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE THAN

WHITE FOLK.

YOU ALL GOT A CHILD WHO'S KINDOF SLOW YOU ALL SEND 'EM TO A

SPECIAL SCHOOL.

BLACK FOLK WON'T EVEN ADMITNOTHIN' WRONG WITH THEIR CHILD.

"GET YOUR CRAZY ASS IN THISHOUSE.

AIN'T NOTHING WRONG WITH THATBOY.

HE ALWAYS WEAR A FOOTBALL HELMETAND A COWBOY BOOTS."

YOU KNOW HE'S CRAZY.

THIRTY-FIVE YEARS OLD WITHSPIDERMAN UNDERWEAR ON STANDING

IN THE SCREEN DOOR EATINGGRAHAM CRACKERS.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]DON'T ACT LIKE IT'S JUST ME.