Craig Shoemaker - Honesty

  • Season 9 , Ep 19
  • 06/16/2005
  • Views: 8,258

SHE LOVES THAT BOOK, MEN ARE

FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VEGAS,

WHEREVER THAT IS.

[LAUGHTER]

LISTEN, WOMEN GOING,

"IT'S 'VENUS'."

THEY'RE UP HERE GOING,

"IT'S 'VENUS'."

THEY'RE CORRECTING ME.

THAT'S GREAT, MY WIFE IS

3000 MILES AWAY, I GUESS YOU'RE

REPRESENTING.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

"WE GOT YOUR BACK, GIRL!"

[APPLAUSE CONTINUES]

LADIES, WHAT DO YOU THINK

IT SAYS IN THIS BOOK,

THE NUMBER ONE QUALITY YOU WANT

IN A MAN?

YELL IT OUT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS?

Woman: SENSE OF HUMOR.

Craig Shoemaker: SENSE OF HUMOR.

THAT WAS NUMBER TWO, WHAT A

CROCK THAT IS!

I MADE SOME WOMEN LAUGH TONIGHT

I DON'T SEE YOU ALL GOING,

"MMM."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

"OHHHH, COMEDY BOY.

OHHH, TALK ABOUT YOUR MINI VAN,

YOU'RE MAKING ME MOIST."

THAT'S A BUNCH OF CRAP.

[LAUGHTER, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

THAT WAS NUMBER TWO.

ANYBODY KNOW NUMBER ONE ANSWER,

NUMBER ONE ANSWER, YELL IT OUT.

Woman: HONESTY.

Craig Shoemaker: HONESTY.

THAT'S WHAT WOMEN WANT RIGHT,

HONESTY.

LADIES, DO YOU REALLY WANT US

TO BE HONEST?

HOW WOULD THIS ONE SOUND,

"YOU'RE RIGHT, I DO WANT

TO BANG YOUR SISTER?"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

"LOOK, SHE'S HOT, I'M JUST

BEING HONEST.

HOW'S THAT WORKING OUT FOR YA?

[LAUGHTER]

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