Uncensored - Speed Roasting - Beavis & Butt-f**k

Week of 2/4/2013 - Carolla, Black, Small Season 2, Ep 5 02/05/2013 Views: 9,955

With some assistance from Adam Carolla, Michael Ian Black and Sherrod Small, Jeff roasts his audience. (2:59)

Who wants to be speed-roasted?

Hands up.

Volunteers only.

All right, fellas, stand up.

Are you guys together?

-Oh my god.

-I'll talk to NotSo Tiny Tim first.

-He likes to be called by hisChristian name, Butt-Head.

-This is Beavis to Butt-Fuck.

-Hold on, Steve-O,do that thing where

you staple yournutsack to your cock.

SHERROD SMALL: Yougot a girlfriend?

MAN: No.

-Want to know why?

-Yeah, why?

-Look at ya.

You look like youwant a boyfriend.

MAN: I do have one.

-There you go.

-Thank you very much.

-This is your boyfriend?

Stand up and be counted, sir.

Look at you.

You're adorable.

SHERROD SMALL: You could dobetter, dude who just stood up.

-Oh my god.

Lisa Lampanelli has a kid.

SHERROD SMALL: She can'tbe Lisa's daughter.

She's not half black.

No, that's accurate.

-What do you doall day, Brittany?

-Um, I'm actuallya public defender.

-Oh my god.

Hold shit.

SHERROD SMALL: I knewI recognized her.

Brittany.

What's up, Brit?

How my case going?

-Is that how you met?

What's your name?

-Jeremy.

-Jeremy.

And who's this right here?

-Nathan.

-Nate?

-Yeah, Nathan.

-You guys are fucking,like, wrestlers.

SHERROD SMALL: Jeremy actuallylooks like me if I was white

and let myself go.

-That is kind of true.

ADAM CAROLLA: It'snice to see the Insane

Clown Posse withouttheir makeup.

-What's your name, buddy?

-Sam.

-Sam.

ADAM CAROLLA: Now,are your lobes,

like, stretched out in a--

-To that-- yeah.

ADAM CAROLLA: Oh, I know him.

Sam I Am A Gay Pirate.

I read that book.

-That would be a butt pirate.

What do you do, for real?

-I work at Supercuts inSilver Lake cutting hair.

-Are those earrings hanging, orare your ears are going around?

-Yes.

-Oh, that's going topay huge dividends

when you hit your mid 60s.

That's--

-You must have a bunchof tattoos, too, huh?

-Not a bunch.

Just mostly in myarms and stuff.

-What is that down there?

-This is two handssqueezing a brain.

SHERROD SMALL: Whoseidea was that thing?

Your parents'?

Your parents wantedyou to get that one?

-No.

-Oh, wait.

Jeff, if you've ever lookedat your ear and went,

eeeh, you knowwhat's missing here?

The ability of anotherdude to fuck it.

I feel like I needto change that.

-All right.

Give this guy some lovefor being a good sport.

Awesome job.

Thank you all our volunteersand my friends, Adam Carolla,

Sherrod Small,Michael Ian Black.